How does that … Part III

“If I was not ruled by each second. If time was meaningless. How then would I define Free Will?”

And off I went to shower and get ready for another day.

And it was another Power Shower! Standing there soaped and scrubbing, He just poured picture after picture with the water. A waterfall of “omniverse” as Little Monk calls it. Everything getting bigger and bigger. And after I dried and dressed, I scribbled a few words to remind myself:

>>> And a note of caution: I get an increasing sense this invitation He has extended is a very personal “FAO: Paul” – one that I have RSVP’d and said “Yes Please, dear Lord”. On that basis I also get a sense that He sees “my time” as being now for this exploration. For some your “own time” might have been many years ago for others it might be many years in the future, for some totally unnecessary. We are all unique. It concerns me enough to stress that all these words are never universal, never wisdom, never anything other than Him and me. They may be relevant to you – or not. They might get you nodding – or frothing. They might pass you by – Paul has lost the plot. This is not about right and wrong. This is Him and me, hand in hand, singing our own song, and passing you by as we wander down the road <<<

(forgive the misquotes, this is type and run)

“I come not to dismiss the law but to fulfil the law”
And maybe that extends far wider than we ever imagined too. The Law of The Jungle. That laws of nature. Law without time and without awareness of self. All inclusive – all fulfilled.

“My father knows each sparrow”
Why do we imagine we are the only beings He has relationship with? Why do we imagine he cannot feel the pain of a stressed planet shifting those tectonic plates in such planet pain? And the Big Bang? What big bang was that you refer to?

“The end times”
What???? Maybe the end times are individual to each of us. A dying is the end times one by one. Maybe – or maybe not.

Love
Love without time? How does that work? We only know love through loss (in time). In our own terms and for our own kind. Remove time, remove a parochial species view – and wow!

Prophecy?
The opening word in this little journey? Nowhere near that yet. But I have a feeling if prophecy nestles in the direction He is heading me – then prophecy will look totally unlike my understanding (and lack of) to date.

Or would free will be as meaningless as time itself?
Would free will be relevant to anything at all?
If there is not “time” what is the purpose of “free will”
If there is no time and there is no need of free will – what is love?
Does love change without time?
Or is the love the only thing that can be unchanged?
The only thing.
Is love – with or without – inside or outside time – the Only Thing?

>>> I have never done “raw” as this is – just scribbles without tidying them. Yet it is the only way I can see to record a wonder such as those few moments. A sharing with Him. An invitation to experience a little deeper this thing I call Relationship <<<

Take away time.

Even eternity we can only imagine with the constraints of tick tock tick tock. Infinity with the constraints of miles, or light years, or some other counting mechanism.

We are constrained always. By some form of counting.

(and that chuckle and whisper: “Ahhhh … back to counting!”)

We have a number of heartbeats, a number of seconds, a number of years, a number of everything from the moment we are born to the moment the counting stops for each of us. The bummer in that is that none of us know how many we have, nor do we spend our entire allotment living each moment as though it were our last. Nor should we – isn’t that just a weird kind of suicide watch, a perpetual final letter? Nor should we assume our allotment stretches out into infinity – right to the land of regrets and why did I waste my life territory.

And I wonder if that explains a little of why we are so hardwired to count our own salvation. Why we find “grace freely given” such an imposition. Why we can intellectualise so easily compared to becoming and being.

We are counters. And sometime it feels like we are counters on a board game. Being moved around without “free will”. And then it gets messy. Again. Then I fight again. Get caught up in all the “stuff” of relationship: sin, worth, unworthy, praise, worship, fellowship, discipling, church, building each other up, judging, more sin, more worth v unworthy, more round and around again – summed up by the conundrum:

“Love Me, love them, and love you – all – all the time – all at the same time”

Time again! Always time!

Did I waste that second, did I get value for money out of that one? I gave you those seconds and you did not give me back any of yours. I have been giving away too many seconds, what about me – I am in deficit! Store them, hoard them, save them, eke them out, make them last!! Don’t waste them too much feeling bad. Don’t fritter them away being too happy. Don’t waste too many being “in the middle” – that is no man’s land!!

Always counting without even counting. Always aware even without being aware. Always me even when it’s about everyone else. Always me even when it’s about God Soft Hands Jesus.

Time = Awareness = Time

”God doesn’t count like we count”

Love = God = Love

Time is a boundary, a fence, a constraint. Love is without fences, it does not count, it “is”.

I am bound by time. How therefore can I love?

Love is greater than time. Love is outside of time.

”And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

>>> If I was not ruled by each second. If time was meaningless. How then would I define Free Will? <<<

Love is outside of time. Free Will is outside of time.

Now just who invented time?

I want to have a chat with them!!