The previous post “Deal with it” triggered this piece. God for me is becoming neither east nor west, faith nor fiction, denomination nor dogma. God just “is”. And I was writing here the words God and Love and found that – for me – it was the same word … the same name … the same label. So left Love in and took out God.
There is much more love in this world than we ever allow. And if we allowed that love and goodness to flow (rather than bind with fences of hatred with labels) then just maybe …
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In the world around us love is the thing which empowers and enriches. Not just the Bollywood-Hollywood rom-coms, nor the slushy ballad of angst, not even the escapist “good always wins” stuff. A sunset, a butterfly, a laugh, a tear, an act of kindness, an unexpected word, a reward, a touch, a connection, a moment when who we are, what we are, is less important that “the moment”.
In the world around us love is the thing which strengthens and emboldens. Strength beyond endurance. Hope beyond belief. Connection beyond words. We seek it. We find it. We abuse it. We waste it. We treat it as disposable. We become disillusioned. And we avoid it. We revert to loving ourselves. We are the only one we can depend on. And we hurt. Living half a life. Never admitting we are still seeking, still hoping we will be loved. Needing affirmation. Needing fulfilment. To be loved. Because we cannot affirm ourselves. Not for ever. And love is for ever.
Love is weird.
Or is it us that is weird. Seeing “love” as universal, unchanging, eternal. Without realising we define and change the definitions to suit where we are, who we are, and who we are with. Living life believing we “don’t change” – that you should “take me as I am” – that we are always (and ever will be) “this is me – love me for who I am” – even when we can’t do that to ourselves.
All that negative self-talk, the blemishes in the mirror, the unspoken bad thoughts, the conflicting inner voices. The ones that are always stopping us, preventing us, changing us (even though we never change). Convincing ourselves we must surrender to love – and behaving as though we are not surrendering to our self-talk. Convincing ourselves that we lose control if we love as we know we should – and behaving as though we have control of our insecurities.
Love is not weird. We are.
If love has no “need” – how can we love ourselves if we “need” to be in control? To never be changed (even though we do it to ourselves and others)? If surrendering to love is a bad thing – how is surrendering to “control” a better option? Is there not sufficient evidence to prove that it is us – not “love” – who are weird?
Love has no conditions.
Because when it does, there is control, there is need, there is fear, and there is not freedom. When there are conditions there are rules and judges and scorecards and finity. There is an “out of time – sorry” consequence. If love is eternal and universal it must – by default – be infinite. So where does “finite” fit?
Because love will walk away … stay for ever … choose … stand up for itself … will be angered … will be sad … will cry and will laugh. Love will demand. Perhaps more than anything else: Love will demand no conditions.
The bummer is that love will demand of me as well as you. Love will demand I walk away if I am being “conditioned”. Love will demand you walk away if I am “conditioning”. Because love with no conditions applies in all directions in all situations – all the time for everyone.
Love is beyond rules. Love is beyond definition. Love does change. We change and love changes with us. Love is eternal. Love is universal. Love is infinite. And love will demand that of me as well as you.
You may call Love by another name. I think more and more that names get in the way of love. All the names we wrap into expectations and rules. The conditions and conditioning. The how you show it and how you don’t. The lists and obligations. The duty and violence. The violence we never recognise unless blood flows or drips. The violence of division and exclusion. The violence of conditions. The violence of need.
Each and every one of us can be – and is – the enemy of love and freedom. Each time we need … “our way” … “our terms” … in “our time”. I am free to be me – so I can shit all over you? You are free to be you – so you can shit all over me? Is that really freedom and love?
Is that why we impose conditions – binding ourselves to be free? And if so – how then are we free – how can we ever love unconditionally?
And just why do we “condition” each other – and blame each other and Love (or whatever name you use) – and think we are free?
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Now try now reading this and replacing “Love” with God …
Is there a difference?
I am curious …