Not again … !

“Not again… !”

Alfie likes watching the same thing over and over.  Happy Birthday can repeat 12-14 times.  Same with a Mr Bloom song.  Or the Mike The Knight theme tune.  Or the Bob the Builder theme tune.  Or indeed any of the current crop of Alfie favourites.

Sitting next to him pressing the remote, cuddling this lovely little fellow … I get time to think.  Anyone but Alfie would – ten times into the same repeated clip.

Like how we do the same as Alfie – just we do it in our heads.  Those clips of negativity and pain.  Alfie watches the happy stuff.  We play and replay the sad stuff.  The bad stuff. The stuff Alfie would never want to watch as much as we do.

“Not again … !”

Why do we rarely say that to ourselves?  That little clip of the time we were caught out and felt really bad.  The short video of when someone let us down badly.  That memory of when we were made to feel so small.  That trauma we just have to play time and time again.

Alfie gets great fun out of his viewing habit.  What do we get from ours?

Alfie prefers cuddles.  We usually prefer isolation.

I am not sure the effect on Alfie of his viewing habit.  But I do know the effect of running that sad bad not glad usually mad video clip in my head time after time.  I do know that the clips Alfie watches are identical time after time.  Just as I do know the clips I run in my head change.  They become more negative.  I become more negative.  They become more convicting.  I become more convicted.

“Not again … !”

If our friends and family could see – if we could see – how often we run the same changing clip over and over …

What might they/we say?

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