The stories I want to share : III


Today I was given a precious gift. The gift of Love. It is rare to be given so freely, so uninvited, and so without fanfare.

So powerful it was a glimpse of how it must be when we “desire to please Him” without doing anything at all. By a small three year old child. Our grandson Alfie. Of whom I talk every now and then. Alfie who is unaware he is labelled with Down’s syndrome.

Today amongst family, a quiet and peaceful meal, a sunny garden relaxation for our two mothers on Mothers’ Day … Today our wee grandson sat on my knee.

Nothing unusual in that. We do that a lot. And when he wants to go, he slides off my knee and goes. To someone else. To something else. Never a word of explanation. Alfie doesn’t do words as in conversation. Alfie does language we have to understand. We don’t need words. Although the few he has gained recently are diamonds more precious than jewelled trinkets.

One thing Alfie does is to keep moving. He rests with us, with me, for a short time then moves on.

Apart from today. Today he stayed. Today he fell asleep on me. It has never happened before.

I mentioned this to his lovely and wise mother, our daughter. She smiled and replied it had only happened once to her. She remembered when and where. It is indeed rare for Alfie to “stay that long”.

And as I tucked a blanket over his bare toes, as I gently rearranged position (he became “heavier” over the couple of hours), as the joy of being slept on continued … God and me? We caught each other’s eye and smiled at each other.

I am not speculating on what goes through Alfie’s head. I only know what went through mine.

That without doing a thing – not one thing – other than “staying”, Alfie gave me a wondrous afternoon. By doing nothing, by saying nothing, by being nothing. Other than who he is.

And that is why God and I caught each other’s eye and shared the moment. It was a moment when I truly “got it”. Truly got what He so lovingly wants us to get. All of us.

That He Loves Me. He Loves You. Full Stop.

That the greatest gift is not just in “doing” … not just in “giving” … nor in “service” … nor in any of the gratitude stuff … the sin stuff … the being good stuff. None of that.

Because we cannot be loved more. We cannot be loved better. We cannot do anything at all to earn more. He Loves Us.

And the greatest gift we can give is just being. Being ourselves.

Being who he created us to be. Being the real us. Staying instead of going. Sleeping in his arms rather than running around all the time. Resting in his arms peacefully, trustingly, lovingly … freely.

He Loves Us. That much.

And the absolute best bit of today? After our daughter’s family left. I became immersed in my bible reading website. Immersed in words. Immersed in writing. Yet the “techie bit” of editing that post on my iPad got in the way. I wasn’t able to finish that bunch of words.

Which gave my loving lord some space (as always with respect, affection and gentleness) to get my inner ears working properly. To hear him say:

Alfie, you, Me … this afternoon is us … Is Love. The bible will wait. All that slice and dice will wait. Why not write a post about us? Why not write about Love and this moment? Write about that Paul, please?”

Some afternoons are good. And some are so God filled they overflow.

These are the stories I want to share.

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24 thoughts on “The stories I want to share : III

  1. And these are the stories you MUST share. Because we need these gentle God filled reminders that not a thing matters to Him except that precious boy, and you and the love flowing between the three of you.
    Everything else is filler.
    Beautiful Paul.

    • Katie, I really think God smiles on Alfie. Several times it has been so powerful, so simple, so uncomplicated. And each time I feel Him there smiling at me as well. Today I got such a tiny fragment of what He is, what gives Him pleasure. I can do nothing to stop Him loving me, and I cannot do anything that will make Him love me more. It is one thing reading and knowing – it’s another when He is inside looking through my eyes, feeling through my heart. Then it is for real!! Then it Is!!

  2. Alfie understands Psalm37 v.7 , bless him. (For once I like the wording as God himslef wrote it (but of course!) in the King James version: “Rest in the Lord.” It’s a beautirufl image and a beautiful act of total trust and love and confident dependancy. I know that feeling – with a grandchild. Nothing can beat it as an expereince of fuzzing the boundaries between little one, me and God. Who loves whom? (sorry, that should prbably be “Who loves whom?”!) It’s just one experience when we are truly being an agent for God. Was it Paul holding Alfie or God holding Alfie? I don’t think there’s actually any difference in a place like that. Blessings.

    • Keith … beautiful! Yesterday was so similar to your words. And this Love thing we question and confuse with our lord – seemed so utterly simple and profound and timeless. “Who Loves Whom?” What a gorgeous phrase! Thank you.

    • Lisa – it seems to get simpler and simpler. Thank you for your comment – it is one thing “believing” this faith and love stuff, quite another having a full and unexpected immersion! Gets the message home in a very direct way.

  3. Luke 9:48 says, “Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me; for the one who is least among all of you, this is the one who is great.”

    I definitely believe those with disabilities can be used in such powerful ways by God!

    • Hi Jacob. Thank you.

      I am not sure of my power – so that is a very generous comment – thank you! He certainly uses my disabilities on a daily basis … my lack of trust, confusion, anger, arrogance, labelling, judging, , , , all of those – and indeed all my other disabilities! It is a daily miracle! He just works patiently with me day by day. Never faltering in His love. And through it all He allows me to see more and more of His wonder and boundless love. That all of us are disabled in his sight – yet truly loved without exception. If I can share that in a way which touches others – then thank you again.

  4. Pingback: Jesus showed me Love and Love showed me God | Just me being curious

  5. Pingback: What do I need of the bible? (3 of 6) | Just me being curious

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