Unconditional Love?


We learn to count like we learn to walk. We learn to count like we learn to talk. We learn to count just like we breathe. Praise for counting for knowing our worth. Accounting and counting right from birth.

This is a sham. I know you now. This is a sham. I see that now. This is a sham. You stole my heart. This is sham. I hope you hurt. This is a sham. I so want you back!

We carry on counting – counting all day – counting investment, profit and loss. I count you my burden, my hateful cross. Love turns to pain, a pale painted dross. Giving so counted it counts only loss.

This is a sham. I know you now. This is a sham. I see that now. This is a sham. You stole my heart. This is sham. I hope you hurt. This is a sham. I so want you back!

Fences go up. Boundaries are set. Infringements recorded and duly noted. Every moment now sugar-poison coated. I learn to with-hold, to shrink and retreat. I try to keep giving from inside my shell. Yet my safety and self – you make me your hell.

This is a sham. I know you now. This is a sham. I see that now. This is a sham. You stole my heart. This is sham. I hope you hurt. This is a sham. I so want you back!

So I learn to count. Each breath that you take. Each breath and smile – all so fake. Why do you do that? Why steal my air? Why do you breathe – it’s so unfair. I gave you my all and you gave nothing back. I loved you so much and you gave me the sack.

This is a sham. I know you now. This is a sham. I see that now. This is a sham. You stole my heart. This is sham. I hope you hurt. This is a sham. I so want you back!

I thought you loved me but obviously not. I thought you a beauty but now see the truth. You’re ugly inside and full of hate. Why did you hide that? Why draw me in? Why draw me out and tell me I’m great. Why make me trust – my heart on a plate?

This is a sham. I know you now. This is a sham. I see that now. This is a sham. You stole my heart. This is sham. I hope you hurt. This is a sham. I so want you back!

But I’m not counting. Like you viciously count. You are to blame – when will you see. You pulled back first, forced me away. You made me shrink, you made me small. You made my love nothing at all.

On my own
I feel such pain.
All my words
No win no gain
This is a sham.

I know you now.
This is a shame.
I see that now.
This is my shame.
I so want you back!

This is a shame.
I know me now.
This is a mess.
I see that now.
This is a waste.
I stole your heart.
This is such pain.
I hope you don’t hurt.
This is our mess.

I so want you back!

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8 thoughts on “Unconditional Love?

    • Skye – indeed it is. I see this “counting” repeated over and over (never being as simple to those blaming/hurting – yet ALWAYS simple – with hindsight). I too have learned first-hand – and keep seeing it in others – how easily we all can until it is too late. This is just an other. And there will be an other and an other … always an other somewhere.

  1. Our human love is really quite conditional, isn’t it? We want, we hurt, we give until it hurts, until we are empty, and we demand, we wish, we beg the same in return until the demands exceed the reservoir of the one we love. And then it begins all over again. Two empty vessels trying to love and be loved. And we forget Whose beloved we are, Whose tap never runs empty.

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