I have had a weekend of trying to figure out my spiritual jobspec again: checking the leading and guidance, discerning the service He has in mind. And I had it all figured out – maybe. But was then thrown something totally unexpected yesterday – and am now even more confused.
And this morning I was reminded of the many helpdesks every company seems to have nowadays. Because when a purchase stops working as I expect, then I hunt down the manual, and skim through looking for “how do I fix this”. And when I can’t? Then I call the helpdesk: “fix this please”.
This weekend I had been in a similar spiritual place. And had been calling the helpdesk but He wasn’t answering.
This morning He gave me the Gospel of John, Chapter 6, verses: 22-29. And then said:
”Dearest Paul, you wish to have help with your “jobspec”? You wish to know what it is you must perform in My name? You want to know (again) how you “serve Me”?
Would this translate as “what great works / what souls to save / which gifts to employ / how to please God / how to be “good” / how do I get it “right” – that old “What About Me” kind of stuff, Paul?
Well, dear Father, I think you misquote me a tad – I would not have used quite those words myself – and I had hoped You might be a little more sympathetic … you know – with You being” GSHJ” and all that … but now you put it that way … well … ummm ….
”Simply RTFM, Paul … R.T.F.M.”
I haven’t thought of those initials for years! And if you are unfamiliar with them, let me enlighten you. It is (so often) the silent cry of every helpdesk when we spill our frustration down their phone lines:
“Read The F****g Manual”
So often I miss the answer when I “skim the manual”. So often I want the “fix it” answer and miss the “this is how” instructions. Because when I am engrossed and focused on something not working – when I have invested so much of my time and energy trying to figure it all out – then I am not seeing or hearing at all. Not really.
And this morning when I “got it” – when “the jobspec” became simple again – then He whispered affectionately:
“Read – do not skim – do not hunt down the answer – do not take out your frustration on the manual – “Read the F*****g Manual” with Me always.”
My spiritual jobspec confusion? My answer – my “getting it” … ?
“Then they asked him,
“What must we do to do the works God requires?”
“The work of God is this:
to believe in the one he has sent.”
Thank you Lord.