How do you say goodbye to the people you love the most? I just hope they understand.

Published June 3, 2015 by scarredandscared

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Dear Scarred and Sacred –

I read your post in our kitchen. The back door was open – it’s a warm sunny day. In the garden beyond the fence there is a bushy tree: whispery kind of stems and leaves. Fragile looking.

The tips of the stems were blowing back and forth in the wind.

“That’s how it feels, Paul”


”How do I say goodbye when my whole world and universe is on the very tip of that stem – blowing this way and that – no strength – no control – no connection. Isolated. Desolated. Alone. Desperate to be connected. Dying day by day. ”

Lord – you mean Scarred and Scared?

”Yes – scarredandscared””

I am praying Lord, maybe coming to you is the answer. I am praying – it’s all I can do.

”Write, Payl. Write.”

Write what Lord? Words for the sake of it – platitudes – irrelevancies – what Lord?

”Write that bush. Write the tips. Write that each tip is connected – has to be connected – must be connected. There is no “how do I say goodbye” – she is connected – she is part – she is one with all and all with one. Do it quickly, Paul. Do it now.”

Dear scarredandscared –

You are that bush, and so am I – and so are all the ones you love – all the ones you are yet to love. You see this tip, others see within – the branches. Some blow this way and that – others less so.

Yet you are as connected to all as they are to you. We are all connected. Look down the stem and see the branches, see the trunk, see the roots. That is you. That is as much of you as the tip. You cannot say goodbye because you remain connected. In this life or the next. Always.

You don’t have to believe in “God” – I sometimes wonder if I do. I believe in Love. That goodness within. That source of who we are and why we are. I hear voices. I hear lots of voices. But I hear One Voice. I call him God. It works for me. He pops up all the time – like when I am looking out into the garden. He is always. He never changes. Apart from getting bigger and more beautiful. Apart from becoming more entwined in everything I do.

I hear voices. And I don’t ever want His voice to stop. You can hear Him. He speaks to everyone. In a perfectly perfect way for each. Listen for His voice. You will know it. It is loving. Gentle. Kind. Never demanding. Inviting. Patient. Always there just for you.

He asked me to write. And when He asks I trust Him. Because He never hurts (doesn’t always explain either). And the odd thing?

Haven written He and you will do whatever He and you want. My part in this is done.

Apart from picturing you hearing that wonderful Voice. Apart from asking Him to shout a bit louder so you can. Apart from waiting. Until you are ready to be who you want to be. Who you hope to be.

How do you say goodbye? Look them in the eye and say “help.” That’s all. Help me. You just did. And He heard. He always does.

Over to you.

Big hugs



8 thoughts on “

  1. I could not find a way to leave S&S a comment on h. Blog. I am screaming to the heavens. “DON’T!!”. Who is listening? I have a firm faith in God and know the only reason this person is not ready to die is their unbelief. We could go into deep mindful theology here but there is no time. But who will read these pleas? ” DON’T “…..the people you love the most love you the most and the pain will be indescribable. The pain will be unrelenting…..not only because you have left them but those who do know and believe in God will realize your good-bye to be forever.” “DON’T! “

  2. You are that bush and so am I. We are not alone, but it does so feel like it at times. He hears you, He see you, His heart aches and breaks for you and with you. He wants so much for you to trust Him, to let go, to let Him heal all the world has tried to tear apart. He is the strength that helps you hold on now. I know the fear, that fear He might fail, judge you, reject you like everyone seems to have. But He wont! That is not who He is. You don’t have to do anything or try to be anyone other than the person He made you to be. We all come as we are. He wants you to know you are very so loved and accepted. He is a gentleman. He knows your scars and you are scared. The world has given you so many reason to be. But He is not the world. He love is pure and true. Know we are all feel scared to let Him in. Its a big step, but you have to let go of the pain and let His love fill all the hurt and brokenness. He wont fail you! That is not who He is! He has been there the whole time its just hard to see Him through all the hurt. I know, I am that bush also!

  3. Hey Paul, This last goodbye from someone we don’t know of,never met and whose life is between two worlds (at least I pray she still is). I can only hope that someone is in the right place at the right time.

    Just a few days ago my son walked down to the hardware store. On his way back across the street he saw a woman frantically motioning for him to come over. She was concerned about her neighbor and didn’t know what to do. She found her on her front lawn and was delirious, foaming from her mouth. Took her into her house and sat her down. The neighbor thought she was having a heart attack.

    A woman he said must have been in her early 50’s looked 80. The house was a mess. The woman unconsolable and not in her right mind. Wine glasses half full all over the house. On the table was a pad. A suicide note and a half opened bottle of furniture polish. He then knew, called the paramedics told them what was going on and they were there in minutes, took her to the hospital and hopefully a second chance at life for this woman.

    The woman’s neighbor and my son were in the right place at the right time.

    When my son was finished I asked him if he felt good about what he did. His reply, “only if she lives”.

    You see my son got a second chance at life. A few years ago he had decided to end his life by jumping off a bridge a thousand miles from us. He sent a text telling us what he was doing. We were helpless.

    Long story short. A man and his wife were driving by (very late at night) and saw what was happening. He forcibly dragged my son from the ledge, put him into his car until the paramedics and police came.

    Months later I got to talk to this man, MIchael, who saved my son. He told me the story in his words and I thanked him. He said, “no way he was going to jump off that bridge, not on my watch”.

    Lets hope God works his magic and puts someone in the right place at the right time for this dear girl and she can find someone who can help her know that life sometimes difficult in the long run is worth living.

    Thanks Paul for having the love and compassion for doing what you could by bringing this poor girl’s cry for help to our attention. The least, no let me rephrase this, the best I can do is pray for her.

    Love you my friend.

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