Dearest scarredandscared –
You succeeded. You succeeded in adding another post. You succeeded in touching a bunch of people who willed/prayed for you to succeed in living yesterday. You succeeded in having the choice to try again or face another day.
BPD, sexual abuse, HALT, what will take, how do I fix this …
Connect. Because everyone who writes here is a survivor of something.
Connect and find how much we all have in common. Connect and find out how much we all “fix ourselves” day after day. You are a survivor. You succeeded in writing another post. And – by the way – bloody well done for succeeding in living another day!
I decided the best way to go was to not say anything at all and just do it. I failed.
I overdosed on my meds and I still woke up this morning. What will it take??
It feels like I yo-yo between feeling the deepest feelings of loss and pain to a feeling of complete emptiness. I feel numb to life. I feel nothing but indifference about being here. Then the pain comes flooding back. Then I have other moments of feeling hope, the simple text from a loved one to say “I’m still here”, “I love you”, “It’s going to be okay” and this wave of calm comes over my body. My shoulders relax, I unclench my fists, my jaw relaxes, I feel safe and like I can do this fight.
Someone asked me recently “what would it take for you to be able to move on”…
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