Dear preciousandperfect –
We have a grandson who is way – way! – Complicated!
He is five. He cannot speak as we understand. Not how he feels, thinks, sees, and is. He too has a label. In fact he has a few labels. And a very thick medical history. He is only five years old. But some things are really simple. Love is really simple.
I have sung this song to him as he sat on my knee for nearly three years. It was simply a “nice song”. He seems to like it. It is one song of many we sing. He likes songs. It goes like this:
“Alfie (surname) we love you
Yes we do, we do, we do.
Cos you’re brilliant through and through
We love you, oh yes we do
Alfie (surname) we love you
Yes we do
He started finishing the last word of each line. Then he began “Alfie mouthing” a few of the words. In the past few months he has started to offer a kiss when we sing “his song”. And then kisses. And sometimes not. And none of us understand why. He can’t tell us. But he can love. And he is loved. We both know.
You are too.
(check back here and see what others leave as comments for you)
I’m a disappointment to everybody. I’m not even me anymore. I’m just a shell of a person walking around with nothing to offer or give.
I thought my wants and needs were simple. I want to be loved. I want to feel I’m loved and be special. But I’m learning that I’m more complicated than anybody can deal with. It’s too much. I don’t have the strength they once thought i had. They’re learning that now. But before i become a complete disappointment i need to leave. I need to let go and let them live.