That is connection! That is commitment!


The best ever massage I have had was in Egypt, Sharm el Sheikh (currently in the news for different reasons). We booked an indulgent set of “spa treatments” over the days we were lazing in the sun. The “best ever massage” was not the first, nor the last.

Some people dismiss massage. The thought of taking your clothes off. Lying on a table with your eyes shut. Having someone else not only see you body. But having someone else touch your body. Probe your body. Probing your muscles. The ones that are knotted and tight. Knowing the stress levels, the fitness levels, the health levels, all those things we hide so well from others. Someone you invite to be all over your body …

And all I am doing is lying on the table and moaning with sensory overload. Moaning with an “ouch” that hurts but feels wonderful at the same time. Is that S&M? Does that sound like an indulgent love-making? Me lying there with my eyes closed, just a candle, and some soft music?

I wonder if that is why some people dismiss a massage. Vulnerability. Body image. Stripped bare. Too much skin to skin. And all those locker room jokes about “being serviced”. All those “special massages ” – would “sir like anything else?” What if I become aroused? What if …

This massage in Egypt? The (tiny) lady masseuse actually climbed onto the table to get a better angle for whatever kneading she was doing. Wow! That has never happened before. But the muscles she got to … wow! I never knew what massage could be until she did that!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

The best ever massages I have given are the ones where I get in synch with the person needing kneading. I don’t think you can give a “great massage” with technique alone. The times I have been told I have given a wonderful massage were not when “I was told” – they were when the person has moaned indulgently, “ouched” a little, been lost for words, been still and so (so!!) connected, and (afterwards) has asked – “how did you know which muscles needed that?”

The best massages I give are the ones where I get back more than I have given. And (whilst they can be sexy) a great massage transcends “sex”. A great massage connects something very primal, very deep, very spiritual, between the masseur and the massaged.

If I allow.

I think that’s why I have had some very “is that it?” massages. When the masseur has been “all technique and no connection”. And I think that is when I have not given great massages – going through the motions with my mind elsewhere.

To climb on the table to get a better angle? That is connection! That is commitment! That is spiritual! And that transcends “sex”!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

I am reading a book by Mel Wild. He wrote it especially for me. And you. And anyone who is brave enough to read words they expect to disagree with.

Mel’s book talks about massage (but he uses words like “orphan child relationship”). He speaks of being afraid of massages (except his words are “coming closer to God” in a way that is vulnerable). Mel speaks of connection. Of commitment. Of being probed. Of being “ouched” and loving it. Mel speaks of relationship that transcends religion.

I can understand why some people cannot “ do massage”. And I am left wondering why. Why push away something so utterly rewarding for both? Mel understands why some people cannot “do relationship beyond religion”. But wonders why. Why push away the very God of Love you pay lip service to with words of praise and worship.

There is “this moment” and every moment. There is having the Creator of All actually within me right now. The same God who we read of in Jesus and go “wow”. The same God who connects with us as we go “ouch”. The same God we kneel to, strip ourselves naked before, and then say only “Our Father, who art in Heaven ….” week after week.

(as we think about something else … wonder why we never connect like we see others connect … decide “that” is not for me … too scary … too “out there” … that is for “them” not me)

Maybe

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Mel’s blog: In My Father’s House
Mel’s book:
Sonshift: Everything Changes in the Father’s Embrace (USA Amazon link)
Sonshift: Everything Changes in the Father’s Embrace (UK Amazon link)

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7 thoughts on “That is connection! That is commitment!

  1. Your words are a wonderful “massage” today, Paul. As Inspector Clouseau would say, “Are there any massages for me…” Yes! Right here. Ahhhh…ouch! 🙂 I love how you connected the vulnerability of having a massage with opening ourselves fully to God’s love. I personally have struggled with the idea of massages and so, for me, this is a perfect analogy to our struggle with intimacy with God. On a mental level, it’s all pretty silly when you think about it (like God hasn’t seen us naked before!)

    Thanks, too, for the thoughtful reference to my book. You are a dear! 🙂 Blessings.

    • Thank you Mel, I am taking my time with your book: binging and then digesting. And thank you for the “massage” comments. As I was writing, it was a perfect fit – and hoped you would be okay with the linking. And give massage a go – relax and enjoy – there is something spiritual in a good massage. 🙂

  2. Paul, as Mel said, what a terrific analogy. I always find it so sad how people struggle with allowing themselves to be loved by God, and now I realize why. It is this intense vulnerability – the fear of becoming weak, when in fact with God’s love, we become stronger, more present, more able to connect with His voice and will.

    And perhaps that’s part of it, too. We become so enmeshed in our own voice and will, we no longer want to know His – again, afraid ours has been wrong for so long we have lost His love. But we cannot lose it. Ever. Just a knotted muscle that needs to be kneaded; just a knotted heart that needs to be needed. He will do both.

      • I didn’t think about it as I was writing, but it is. I guess just as we have to admit we’re lost, we also have to admit we’re ailing. And it’s more than that. It’s a bringing together the fullness of ourselves. Knitting together gaping wounds. Unbind and disentangle kinks and chains. We can’t do that on our own. Only He can.

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