Not even God does that


In different areas of my life I bump into men who are attracted to men. It’s not a big deal.  It comes up in normal conversation.  Some men talk about Susan and Jenny. Some men talk about Ralph and Edward. Almost no men talk about the bedroom and getting sweaty. But we all talk about the tsunami of a “hormone wave” when that “other person” comes into our lives. Men usually have no idea what to do with it when it sweeps men away.

But I (almost) never talk about the last time I made love. And nor do they. Unless it’s bullshit.  We talk about football. Football gets a lot of time. And music. That as well. And gossip. And work. And money. All of that much more than relationships (unless that “tsunami” is on the go).  And we laugh a lot – at each other – with each other. All the blarney and bullshit – there is a lot of that!

And I find the same thing when a bunch of men and women are together. Same stuff. Same topics (just less football usually). Same vulnerabilities. Same bullshit. Same laughter. One difference: women go off to the toilet together (I have never had an explanation that made any sense).

And walk in on a bunch of women and the conversation either stops or is unintelligible (I have heard women say the same thing about walking in on men).  Because women together can be as graphic as men – can be as “vulgar” as men.  And they do talk about bedroom stuff more than men.  I think that is because for men it’s mostly a “performance issue”. With women it’s not so much.

So to religion.  And this massive obsession – the “LGBT stuff”.  Let’s be clear about one thing:

If ANYONE asks me about my bedroom … if ANYONE insists they have the right to do that … if ANYONE intrudes on my intimacy and privacy in the name of God … And if ANYONE feels duty-bound to force their beliefs on me … if ANYONE feels they have power over my inclusion in God stuff … if anyone acts on that because their “power” and right is enshrined in “their“ (unspoken) missionary position … And if anyone reads their bible to find justification to ignore my plea for them to stop … if ANYONE insists they can and will and must force that on me … force themselves on me and my God …

That IS spiritual rape. That is REAL abuse.

Yesterday’s post comes to mind: “The “difficult verses””

Do not commit murder? Don’t get angry in the first place. Do not break an oath? Do not make an oath in the first place! Eye for an eye? Go the extra mile without being asked. Love your neighbour/hate your enemy? Love everyone including your enemies. Tithing and giving? In private. Praying and showing off in public? Why would you want to do that. Wealth and possessions? Think about what that will give you long-term. Worry, worry, worry? Look around at what lives and breathes – I care for you in the same way as each petal on each flower. And so the list goes on.

My Lord and Father reaches out with love-absent-of-all-judgement. My Lord and Father reaches out without demanding-change-before-reaching-out. And my Lord and Father is described over hundreds of years in every book of the bible and in all those many chapters and verses within all those books. And the ONLY God I see described is a God of Unconditional Love.  A God who would die for each of us.  Who did die for us.  Each one (not just the ones you decide He died for).

So you want to find one verse in all of that which justifies you judging me? You want to reach out to me only to change me? You want to reach out so I tell you that you are right and I am wrong? You want me to change me to be who you are …?

Then you only reach out to destroy who I am. You only reach out insisting you have the right to rape me. You assume the God given right to come into my bedroom whilst preaching the sanctity of yours.

Men don’t do that. Women don’t do that. People don’t do that. Not even God does that.

So why do you?

 

(Triggered this morning by a lovely post from the thesmilingpilgrim” – LGBT Christianity – and inspired by MUCH religion and LITTLE God)

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13 thoughts on “Not even God does that

  1. You are right on here. It is our duty to love without judgment as we are loved.
    I wholeheartedly believe this and believe me we break bread with folks from all walks.

    One thing that is difficult for me as a mom of adult children is to hold back when I feel my own babies (I know I said adults and babies in proximity) get involved with someone that is very self absorbed, atheist or someone I consider harmful to to them emotionally. I want to advise without sounding like I am being all Christian judgmental about their friend. But sometimes you can feel a lack of soul or a very dark one and you want to warn. This almost always comes off awkwardly. Maybe you are their age. What do you think about this kind of speaking up/interference?

    • Bonsai, thank you. As a grandfather (and eternal “Peter Pan” – aren’t we all – as we see the years passing?), I am not sure there is one best answer. But am well impressed you think I might have any wisdom at all!! 🙂

      What I do know is those who we have (also) viewed in our children’s lives as less than wonderful seem to have eventually floated away. And never to do with our view or opinion – but always to do with the “inner goodness” of each of our children. Indeed – when we have tried to share a view or opinion of the relationship – ALWAYS we attack the wrong person – we always attack our child rather than their partner. And that AWAYS makes our children more wary about allowing us to get to know any partner (present or future).

      So I have come to the conclusion that inclusion does not mean “endorsement” – that inclusion means “love”. And that the person we created has all the choices I want for them (and – unfortunately – also in those areas that I would prefer they didn’t!) 🙂

      I think that is (partly) why this post – and I had not realised until your comment.

      If we are to really trust our children who we created and love – we must allow them to be “them”. And if that is true, then how much more does our God trust and allow us to be “us”? How much more does He hope that our inner goodness will eventually allow what is less than helpful to also “float away”. And if He (and we) can do that with those we love – then what does this “LGBT thing” say about our “love”? That “we” neither trust God, ourselves or “them” – and are we talking endorsement and conformity or love?

      • This makes complete sense and my husband and I typically operate on these principles but recently, our daughter who was the victim of horrible crimes was at some further risk for harm and we spoke up after being accepting her situation/relationship for many years. Needless to say that did not go well at all. Speaking up late appears to be worse. Lesson learned.

        • And this where wisdom really does run out. It also prompts memories of our own times when “typically” was not what happened. And more memories of “could we have, should we have, what if we had done”. So far they each retain their health and sanity (if not always their wealth). And I think there will never come a time when either of us as parents believe we have the answers!
          One thing I saw the other day: “Parents are super-heroes in disguise” I think I agree.

  2. Paul, you are so courageous, and you seem to figure out how to say things that ought to be said in absolute love and compassion. You are such a blessing, my big dirt brother. ((hugs))

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