Reflections of my state of mind

As a parent I never imagined a time when being sleep-deprived would ever be a gift. I never imagined a time when being ruled by an infant would be wondrous. I never knew that as a grandparent I would treasure all this. As a parent, all of “this” was relentless. There was no future other than “this” stopping and me having a life again.

Parent v Grandparent. Obligation v Love. Cross v No-Cross. God now v God when I die.

As a normal functioning human being I can never imagine loving my neighbour as myself would really “be me” – when “all that is mine is yours” – a time when you are as sacred as me. Because as a normal functioning human being I work hard for what I have – it is relentless.  So I am not giving all that to someone who has not worked with as much commitment and integrity as I do.

Metered Love v Unconditional Love. Burden v Desire. Cross v No-Cross. God now v God when I die.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12  The conclusion to the Ask, Seek, Knock verses: 7-12

He and I are taking “God-truth-protein-pills” one at a time for the moment. And I am finding wonderful reflections as we do.

If I was not a grandparent – I would still see looking after (grand)children as “relentless”. An imposition on my (now) very calm peaceful life. I would still think of a broken night as not fair. Up and down all night with my “WHAT ABOUT ME?” head and heart in full cry.

But just how do I stop being a “normal functioning human being” – I am that until I die!

Well as a “Christian” I am told I have already died (to self) and been born again.  I am told He took my relentless and left the rest – the good stuff.  When I said to God “I will” … when I said to God “What time I have left on this earth is yours” … when I became part of this global club called “Christians”.

Or did I?

Am I?

Because if all that was a burden before, is still a burden now – how am I any different?  If all I held onto before, I hold onto now – what is the difference?  And if all I received was a fleeting moment of comfort when He and I became One – who am I (if I am not still that changed person right now)?

My state of mind took relentless out of “childcare” and peace arrived.  So if I never take relentless out of being a “normal functioning human being” – how will I ever find peace?  How will I ever find unconditional love? How will I ever appreciate me (let alone you) – and how will I ever livedoing unto others as …” ?

“Resting in me seems to be the answer, Paul.  By being still and knowing that I have ‘god-o-clock’ available to you.  By laying your burden at my door.  By believing I will never hurt you.  By trusting me when I say no – that I desire to save you (or another) from harm.  By living together in each moment.  By resting together in the chaos.  By talking to me as you talk to yourself.  By allowing me to talk to you (as you pray I will). By allowing me to be as real to you as you “wish”(!!) I was.

By allowing me to be who you read about in the bible. By hearing me even when you think you can’t.  And by accepting that your little flaws, your weaknesses, your “sins”, your imperfections … are your “issues” and not mine.

My “issue” is that you take relentless out of our relationship. That you allow yourself to share your “burden” with me. That you live as I live – as you read in these “God-truth-protein-pills” (God help us all!). That you allow you to allow me to be your state of mind!”

I allow.  I am a citizen of State of Mind.

“And thank you for sticking with my song choice this morning – for finding the lyrics – for reading the lyrics – for being my citizen of my State of Mind in this moment.”

Dizzy Wright – State Of Mind

I invite you to walk with me into His song choice – the lyrics are here – God Soft Hands Jesus is in everything

And He has the best sense of humour ever!



3 thoughts on “Reflections of my state of mind

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