Observations through the doorway – this is the dance

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How good a Christian am I?

How do I know I am an improving Christian? Do I give enough … pray enough … read the bible enough … volunteer enough … love enough … ?

Am I being changed … do I want to give … want to pray … want to read the bible … want to volunteer … want to love my “neighbours” … ?

Do others tells me I am an improving Christian … do I fit in … do others seek my advice … am I invited into things … am I listened to … what committees am I on … are my gifts being used … am I enough for God … ?

Do others – those who are not yet saved – do they see me as a good Christian? What can I do that makes them see I am a Christian? What behaviours and words should I use so that they know? And do I bring others to God – to Jesus – to the Lord?

How many have I saved? Were they on the way to being saved or did I bring them to Christ?  How many is enough?  Why do I read about those who bring thousands every day – and I can’t find one in my entire life?

I must bring someone to the Lord in just one conversation – I must!   It’s just my diary is too full to simply have those “random conversations” like Jesus did.


Love and Relationship

Lord I sit here day after day talking with you. I sit here day after day writing words like this. I have no idea what effect, what impact, what “change” these words make to anyone else. I only know the change they are having with me in you.

I look back and see the parable of the sower. I play that phrase “fishers of men”. Your urging to make disciples of all nations. And I hear the line: It’s in the bible – it’s the very Word of God – it’s what we must all do.  I was in that line.  I chanted that chant.  I was that me.  And now I am not.

I ponder with you now in complete freedom of love: Just who wrote that bit and why?  I ponder freely with you now: Why can we Christians not allow ourselves to say: “Hang on a minute – let’s ponder if this is God – or just a bible writer who thought God and the church needed to hear that in that moment?”  And I wonder why we Christians are  obliged to teach a bible that must be so unchanging … that we must as well.

You ask me to preach against a bible that “we” defend so blindly that “we” are now proud of “being persecuted” for being true to the “Word of God” (or as others see it – “small-minded”).  You ask me to question this intense pride in our “Christian Tradition”?

And – with hindsight – I have always heard you asking that of me.


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My God, save Paul from his sin of heresy – these words of doubt sowed in his heart.  We pray You open his heart to Your Word.  We pray that You bring him back from this road of temptation to the narrow path to You – the narrow and righteous path we all tread together.  We must love Paul as you love Paul – so we ask this in Jesus’ name, amen.



Dear Father, can we dance that dance again?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I get your drift Paul, but this may be trickier than you thought.  Remember your daughter talking about dog training and saying you can come across as a know-it-all?  I sense that is not just when you talk about dogs and training. 

You believed quite happily and with joy all the “before” stuff as all there was and is.  So “before” cannot be dismissed.  Before is a journey – a different pair of shoes – a different coat – but the same journey.

Now you have shrugged off that “uniform” it does not make “the uniform” irrelevant – it simply makes it a different place and time.

I loved you before you found me.  I loved you when you found me.  I loved you when you gladly wore that uniform.  I loved you no more or less as you shrugged off that uniform and have put on another (you don’t yet recognise as a uniform).

You are becoming naked – but you still like the look of your “God stuff mirror” (and new uniform) a little too much for my liking!

What should you take from this little appraisal … ? 

This is the dance! 

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