Bigger than faith – in every moment

Was Jesus the worst Christian ever?

He let down His followers more than any “scandal” of this earthly church. Earthly scandals replace one name with another. But Jesus?  Not a name to ever be replaced. And yet there He is marching into Jerusalem to let all His followers down. Knowingly.

He mixed with all the wrong folk. He mixed with the high and mighty of the establishment AND the low and outcast of the same establishment.

He had never heard of safeguarding.

He let Himself get into potentially compromising situations.

He went at things alone.

He never worried about where the next loaf was coming from.

He never had any budgets or committee meetings that I see recorded.

He lived day-to-day.

He had a master plan.

But nothing minuted and recorded. Nothing that could be voted on.

And He kept redefining scripture – or “the bible” (as He might have called it in those days). Because He kept telling people: “You have seen it written, but I say … “

We call that heresy and false teaching today.

And he never filled the churches. That never seem to be His priority. He never seemed to worry about falling attendances.

All in all I see a bad Christian at work in the Gospels.

Yet …

I wonder if – with all our hindsight and bible learning – we worry more about being a good Christian than finding God in the bible we study.  Because I don’t see the disciples doing a lot of book learning.

The twelve-to-become-eleven had to do a lot of chair lifting and shifting. A lot of bread fetching. They had a lot of tough love done to them. A lot of following without the foggiest idea why. I see them walking on water.  Every day. Long before walking on water was ever invented. I also see them trying to protect Jesus a lot. And Jesus having none of it. I see them trying to get this eternity stuff. And failing every time.  I see twelve ordinary folk walking in faith every day for three years.  And we seem not to have learned very much from this rag-tag set-up in the thousands of years that followed.


In fact the whole thing was doomed to fail.  All of them were bad Christians.  There was no way the twelve-to-become-eleven could become millions. What they needed was good Christians.  That’s what the church needs.  That’s what the church teaches.  Good Christians.  That’s the answer.


I wonder if we see a failing church in the west because we try to be good Christians instead of not being Christians at all.

I used to struggle to call myself any particular denomination. It was too claustrophobic. And then I began to struggle to call myself a Christian. The term has become too toxic.  And that can be very limiting.

If I had been born into a Muslim country to Muslim parents I would have called myself a Muslim. And I suspect that I would have reached a similar point in my journey in that faith as well.

I wonder if “faith” by any name is like jump-starting a car.

Once it is going you don’t need to keep starting the engine – the engine is the important bit…

Where the engine can take you. How the engine sounds. How many people the engine can pull. How juicy or efficient.

The starting is not the end. The starting is not even remembered after a while. The starting is just that.

The beginning of something.

I am finding myself in a weird kind of place.

A place where those of faith and religion and denomination read my words and are confused. And those of no faith and religion and denomination don’t read my words.

This is a place of no horizon. Of no structure.

Is that why so many good Christians hesitate and never walk through the doorway?

I think it sad.

For this is place of beauty and kindness.
Love burns bright.
In all.
In every moment.
Evidenced by kindness.
In every moment.
Where Love lives.
In the moment

2 thoughts on “Bigger than faith – in every moment

  1. Amen. This is probably why Jesus didn’t call himself a Christian in The Shack. That name has a very negative connotation in the Jewish world (think Crusades, pogroms, most of the history of Western Christendom). I’m a follower of Jesus. Beyond that, label me whatever you want.

    Btw, loved the pencil picture. Naughty Jesus! 🙂


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