So just who is God Soft Hands Jesus?
And just how do you know all this with such certainty?
I have shed. I have disrobed. I have set-down so much I was taught. I have tried to be a member and found the rules stifling. I have tried to breathe and been told not to. I have found we are taught (that to not be alone) we must compromise. We must not say what we have done and think – we must do and think what we do not think nor want to do. We must stay silent when others are speaking. And those who speak are qualified to speak. And I am only qualified to listen, And stay silent.
And through all of that teaching, all of the bible “says so – so the bible is” and we “all must – because we all must” … Through all the staying silent …
You, dear GSHJ, never were. You were never silent. You were quiet. You are quiet. You are the most quiet part of me. But you are never silent. Always right here in presence.
And I have heard science say this conversation – this indwelling – is simply the two ancient sides of my brain talking. That you are not there at all. But I know.
I have heard you yell. Once so loud and unexpected that I nearly fell down the stairs (it’s hard to forget a moment like that). But more than that – because my brain doesn’t talk like you do. And more than that – I know because my brain connects across thousands of miles with another (because it was another who told me with some surprise that I had).
Science may have a good reason for that as well. But I have never heard an explanation for why all these things happen. And why only sometimes. And in a way difficult to reproduce. Which means my ancient brain doesn’t count in this. Not for science.
And I am glad of that.
Ore else I would have to give up Love to science as well. Love which I have heard explained in so many different ways. Yet none that cover everything. None that cause me to say: “Ah well, that’s that then. Another mystery unraveled. Thank you.“
Because for me Love is the great mystery.
Not just for one other. Nor just for a child of my own creation. Not even for only those I know. Not even just in life or death situations. But in every moment if I allow.
Like this – so simple yet so not.
And this – so tiny and yet so overwhelming.
Like this – so wrong and yet so right.
Are you naming me Love?
Are you shedding all else?
Do you need no bible – do you need no creed – do you need no church?
And I do not need.
I now desire.
Tell me about desire …
Here is desire …
Here is not …
Here is desire …
And here (for me) is “why” desire … “why” love …
Freedom to be strong (but not have to be). Freedom to build bridges to connect and to allow and to not disallow.
Freedom to be me (and no one else). Freedom to build more bridges and to connect with so many more and to allow so much more and disallow so much less.
Needless of fear. Needless even of love (and I never thought I would say those words).
Desiring not of fear – never of fear. Desiring only of Love. Desiring of you.
You have just described “church”. My church is all of this.
Of all and for all.
That is Love.