I have yet to find a space I feel safe in the very place that says it is safe. That says all are welcome. That welcomed me. I have yet to find a safe grace space in the place that says it is a grace space place. That says all are welcome. That welcomed me.

The building place space.

I have found a space in which I feel safe in the very place we teach is a dangerous place. That says there are no rules. That doesn’t care about me. I have found a safe grace place in the place that never considers itself a grace space place. That says there are no rules. That doesn’t care about me.

This virtual place space.

In the building place space I follow a leader. For in the building place space there is always a leader. And an agenda. And a clock ticking. And I rarely speak words I wish to speak. I rarely hear words I wish to hear. I am amongst those who belong. Those who judge me. Those I judge. We measure time – is there a return on the investment. Who judge each other – does this person add value. Who have a purpose – even if we don’t know what it is. Even as who speak of love who judge whether for fit or fight. I feel judged because who do.

In a skype session with two others, thousands of miles apart, none of us ever having met in the flesh, none of us obliged to meet each week, I am safe. I spoke words tonight I have never spoken before. And the speaking made them real. The speaking caused them to birth. The words said aloud fair fit like pieces of a jigsaw. Tonight I was heard. Tonight I was allowed. Tonight I was in a safe place a grace place a place that has no place other than as a virtual place space. That has no other purpose than to be safe. And I feel safe.

Church life.

Why is it that when we gather together in the flesh we measure our pound of flesh? We seek out those who are like us. We seek out those who will change us. We seek out those who will empower us. We seek out those we can love. Who will love me.

Why is it that when we gather together virtually we leave our measure at the keyboard? We see others like us. We are amongst those who change us. We are amongst those who empower us. We are amongst those we love. Who love me.

Church life may be why.

I will see you on Sunday. In the same seat. Or the same role. Saying the same words. To the same people. At this meeting. At that programme. And this event. In those minutes. In your wardrobe. In your circle. Of that hierarchy. Church life much more than just

“God”

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Where did you find God this weekend?

(and why did you need to go looking?)

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