Today I will not worship with you in the same place or building. Today I will not sing the chosen hymns or read the chosen verses. Today I will not listen to a sermon from a man of God. Today I will not recite the chosen prayer and chants. Today I will not break bread or drink wine at a rail of silence in awe and reverence.
Be still and know that I am God.*
Today I will not go to church. Today I will not attend church. Today I will not be in church. Today I am not worshiping in church. Today I am not praising in church. Today I am not praying in church. Today I am not in fellowship with you in church. Today I am set apart from you. Today I am here not there. Today you are there and I am not.
Be still and know that I am God.
Will you counsel me? Will you reach out to me? Will you forgive me? Will you accept me? For I have no excuse. I have no reason. I have no justification. I have nothing pressing or urgent that keeps me from church. It is simply that I am here and you are there. Simply that you are and I am not. I am not. And you are.
Be still and know that I am God.
Should I be in church? Should I be pressed and dressed, bowed of head and heart? Should I be still and know that he is God where you are, because where I am – He is not? Should I have a better reason than no reason at all? Should I feel guilty in preferring to be here than there? For who is judging me in this moment?
Be still and know that I am God.
Am I unchurched by choice rather than as (yet) unsaved? For if I am unchurched by choice does that mean I am (saved but) backsliding? And if I am not (backsliding) then why the expectation I should be with you today? And by being apart from you does this mean I am a good Christian or not? And who is judging me in this moment?
Be still and know that I am God.
But are we still as connected as before?
Am I still as connected? As before?
As before what …
Exactly?
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* Full verse rarely quoted:
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
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Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
Thank you Vincent 🙂
I don’t think I was able to, “be still and know that He is God” until I finally became un-churched. I believe Him now. You know it when you get there because you can finally surrender all and find rest.
Today has been a surprise, and I hope you see the next post: “My church (or yours)”. Neither post was planned. Just a consequence of “be still and know …”
Yet now being “unchurched” I find I am not. And that is a surprise – because I thought I was. And the unspoken (and spoken) pressure to attend – to be a member – to be a visible number – is intense.
I have no idea if I am right – but the consequence of being still today has allowed me to “surrender” (thank you) and find rest.
Thank you
((hugs))
I look forward to reading part 2.
((Hugs))
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