Going to church


Today I will not worship with you in the same place or building. Today I will not sing the chosen hymns or read the chosen verses. Today I will not listen to a sermon from a man of God. Today I will not recite the chosen prayer and chants.  Today I will not break bread or drink wine at a rail of silence in awe and reverence.

Be still and know that I am God.*

Today I will not go to church. Today I will not attend church. Today I will not be in church. Today I am not worshiping in church. Today I am not praising in church. Today I am not praying in church. Today I am not in fellowship with you in church. Today I am set apart from you.  Today I am here not there.  Today you are there and I am not.

Be still and know that I am God.

Will you counsel me? Will you reach out to me? Will you forgive me? Will you accept me?  For I have no excuse.  I have no reason.  I have no justification.  I have nothing pressing or urgent that keeps me from church.  It is simply that I am here and you are there.  Simply that you are and I am not.  I am not.  And you are.

Be still and know that I am God.

Should I be in church? Should I be pressed and dressed, bowed of head and heart? Should I be still and know that he is God where you are, because where I am – He is not?  Should I have a better reason than no reason at all?  Should I feel guilty in preferring to be here than there?  For who is judging me in this moment?

Be still and know that I am God.

Am I unchurched by choice rather than as (yet) unsaved?  For if I am unchurched by choice does that mean I am (saved but) backsliding? And if I am not (backsliding) then why the expectation I should be with you today?  And by being apart from you does this mean I am a good Christian or not?  And who is judging me in this moment?

Be still and know that I am God.

But are we still as connected as before?
Am I still as connected?  As before?

As before what …

Exactly?

.

* Full verse rarely quoted:
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

 

.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Going to church

  1. I don’t think I was able to, “be still and know that He is God” until I finally became un-churched. I believe Him now. You know it when you get there because you can finally surrender all and find rest.

    • Today has been a surprise, and I hope you see the next post: “My church (or yours)”. Neither post was planned. Just a consequence of “be still and know …”
      Yet now being “unchurched” I find I am not. And that is a surprise – because I thought I was. And the unspoken (and spoken) pressure to attend – to be a member – to be a visible number – is intense.
      I have no idea if I am right – but the consequence of being still today has allowed me to “surrender” (thank you) and find rest.
      Thank you
      ((hugs))

  2. Pingback: The foundation of all I now wish to be and become | Just me being curious

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s