Our children all played with this –
A shape toy. A bunch of shapes that will only go through certain holes. Find the right shape for the right hole. Science says that is very much how we live our lives. “Stuff” gets in only if it fits the shapes we think are safe.
I imagine my head being that shape toy – and your stuff (everybody’s stuff) being those shapes. Your tell me about something that makes perfect sense to you – a star shape. But my star shape hole is all blocked up. I blocked off that sucker a long time ago! Too much bad stuff was getting in – I like ovals – and all the stars were so spiky and uncomfortable. So I closed off the hole PDQ! And now I only let in oval shapes and my life is so much better. But what I can’t figure is why you won’t take my perfectly innocent and loving oval shaped stuff.
I can’t see the shapes in your head, and I have no idea what shapes your prefer, and which you do and do not allow in. But I guess that oval shaped stuff is banned. I guess that you blocked up your oval shape – because I can never seem to connect with you – no matter how gentle I make my oval shaped stuff – you just won’t have it.
We all walk around with heads that NEVER look like this to others (or ourselves) –
And I think “love” – for me – is my shape changer.
I think – for me – love changes the shape of the holes in my head to be the shape of your stuff. I think that love makes all the different shapes safe, and that I have no more need for certain shaped holes to allow only certain shaped stuff.
I think we each have that ability, because we were all born with a curiosity beyond logic – a trust beyond logic – a blindness to colour – a blindness to difference. And (sadly?) we were all taught not to say “that” – and not to comment on “this” – and not to talk about stuff that was the wrong “shape”. And – I think – bit by bit our heads begin to have certain shaped holes to only accept certain shaped stuff. And that we began to fear stuff of a different shape.
I also think we confuse the science of that with how we live our lives. Because the more I look at me and my shapes – the less I have to fear – and the more I see of you.
And I now have a picture of all us walking around with this toy where our heads should be! Different holes blocked up in each of us. And all with our favourite shapes “in” and “out”.
But I think that the more we try and convince each other (without “love” and “kindness”) the more we do this –