Book signings. Meet the author. Book clubs. Bio’s. Interviews in magazines. Putting the person writing the best seller in front of their public. And their public flock to meet the person behind the pages. The person who has created and crafted the storytelling. The person who has become an intimate part of their own lives. Their living through the words.
I was reading about a deconvert who wrote of exiting an abusive relationship with Jesus. It echoes the current explosion of media frenzy for Hollywood excesses, political excesses, celeb excesses, religious excesses, power excesses. The abuse of “lesser than me” being a way of life – currently exposed as “sexual abuse” – but always about power – who has it and who has not – who cares for others and who does not..
For years I was a recovering religious victim. The length of my recovery extended by assuming the hurt and pain of anyone and everyone who wrote about their own hurt and pain. It took me years to recognise that I had left one club for another: the “good Jesus” club for the “bad Jesus” club. That I had not been abused but disappointed. That I had tried to go along with the rules of the good Jesus club and found them stifling and many to be false, and (because being a victim is more satisfying than being a dupe) I became a victim (and then the self-appointed protector of other victims).
And then found that all clubs have rules which are stifling and many are false. And only then could I take responsibility for me and what I wanted as my essence of good living and dying.
It is Loving Who-I-Am. And that is not a club with many rules. It is my acceptance of me – who I was – who I am – and who I will be (if I allow). And I love the freedom of being who I am because to be me requires great strength – and with that my freedom – my choice to choose – to use that strength as restraint or power.
Because everyone wants me to be something else. Even me. I am my worst critic and my fiercest enemy. I carry something that wants to be angry, that wants to hit out, that wants to cause pain, that enjoys being a victim, that enjoys power.
That is also part of me.
And it is easy to be drawn towards those who have that in common. Who make me feel better by understanding and not judging. Except for this.
When I have healed of the pain – I find myself obliged to remain – I become a curator of that pain and remain under its authority and those connected by that pain (or joy).
Because it is as true of “good Jesus” victims as it is of “bad Jesus” victims. Which brings me back to book signings and the bible.
Used by both good and bad Jesus victims. The bible says. And the bible is Jesus. The relationship is with the bible (Old and New). Because Jesus is the bible (old and New). And Jesus says no one comes to the Father but through Me. So Jesus is God and God is Jesus and the bible is both. And that is all you need to know.
And while the bible continues to be taught as that – then both will remain victims. Because we take what we each want from the pages and make it the truth. And what we take will change just as our truth changes. And the truth is that needing to be right is the first step to abusing others who are not.
I was asked by Ark what I need healing from. My answer is I want healing from being the victim I was and could easily be again. And all of you are that healing. Because connecting, without needing to join any club, allows me and you to stay healed and not be a victim.
Especially of and to ourselves.
(Are we back to “pick a premise” again, Paul?)