We had a delightful half-an-hour yesterday.

Little Xander, just gone two years old, bouncing around on our bed – jumping from the headboard and footboard (both wide and padded), repeating over and over as he did:

“Me doen nee elp … (climb and jump) me doen nee elp … (climb and jump) me doen nee elp …”

His excited sing-song speech and “elp” always a “squeak” (of delight joy determination  affirmation): it was his celebration of discovery.  A celebration Xander wanted us all to share: Me don’t need help!  As he found one more step to independence.

It was just “joyous”.

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This morning I wonder: the joy we shared … why so simple … so pure … so innocent … ?

Maybe it was because Xander wanted us there.

Because I – as an adult to another adult – assume “not needing help” means “leave me alone, please.”  And that means I am not “needed”.  And that means “they” want a solo activity (without me).  But I discovered last night that “not needing help” can be a statement of discovery and  sharing.

And then realised how many times I have (generously and altruistically – obviously!!) asked this: “Do you need any help?” … “Can I help you?” … “Do you need a hand? …  And the answer is usually … 

“No thanks I can manage.”

And I feel rejected (how much always depends on my mood).  So I give them(!!) their “solo activity”(!!) and walk on – always thinking: “But you did offer, Paul – well done”(!!).  And the truth I learned last night?

I am rejecting them – they are not rejecting me.

And it took a two year old jumping on the bed to teach me that (again).

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Footnote 1:

Yesterday tildeb and I had an extended comment conversation below We are family 

tildeb summed up with this: “Enjoy your grandkids but drop the whole religious aspect and just deal with them as honestly and openly and appropriately with love and concern as you can. You don’t need to include anything else.”

And I cannot get past tildeb’s premise that “Religion aka the bible aka God aka Jesus aka “Harvey” aka any and all of it … is THE problem” (a summary by me).  I cannot get past that premise because tildeb will not allow me to get past that premise.  And if tildeb could allow, he would find this …

I have no need to talk to them about the bible, about God, about Jesus, about relationship, about “religion” – because Xander and Alfie – little people everywhere – teach ME so much about the bible, and God, and Jesus and relationship and love. 

They also teach me how “religion” (as we adults practice religion) is almost never “it”. 

So why would I even want to “introduce religion” to them – when they “introduce to me” what “it” is really about?

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Footnote 2:

tildeb, in our extended comment conversation below We are family, did help me discover anew the meaning of this:

“Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?” Mark 8:17-18

tildeb helps me.

The Bible is not for me to see God more clearly (so that tildeb will listen to me and see I am right about God) – it is so I can see myself and you more clearly.

So if any “Christian” is taking this as a win against an “Atheist” –  you are the same as tildeb – and me.

We are all the same.

(if we allow).