Br Francis-Clare made a comment: “I know nothing except to follow, in following, all I need walks before me.” (under “The greatest sacrifice?”)

And each time I tried to reply to the comment I found those words drew me deeper:

“All I need walks before me.”

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Who amongst us was brought-up to be less than others?  Maybe generations ago.  Maybe even now.  But who amongst us wanted to settle for that as The Way to live?  Who never had a sense of unfairness that all of “that” was just someone else’s preferred system of power?  I lead you follow.

I tried to join that system.  My career path was focused on power because with power comes money.  And with money comes respect and the good things I deserve.  I was taught – as I think we all are – to join the system.  To make my mark.  To make something of myself.  To “be” someone …

(as judged by the system)

I see that in The Church still.  All wrapped up as corporate-wrapping does.  Spotted with people who want to make a difference but have yet to figure out how not to be gradually but inevitably streamrollered by the system – how not to compromise (too much) the why with the must.  Every corporate has that – a lot of compromise.

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I now work from home. Over the years we have made sure to keep “work” from “home”. Or else the blurring gets in the way of balance – we have a physical space (office) and a state-of-mind (routine).  It is well established system over many years.

Welcome small grandchildren!

“I go upstairs and see dandad?” … “Granddad .. can I do some drawing?” … “You come play cars with me?” … “I come see you dandad.” … “I love you dandad (big cuddle)!” …

“All I need walks before me.”

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I read the bible – now with more freedom than ever before. No hang-ups over the need for the bible to be this or that (or not this and not that).

“When the sabbath came, Jesus entered the synagogue and taught. They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be silent, and come out of him!” And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him. They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, “What is this? A new teaching – with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.” At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee. “ Mark 1:21-28

Teaching with authority is now the norm.  Authority in the church is the norm.  Except authority and power are not the same.  I think the “being saved” bit confuses the two.

“All I need walks before me.”

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What is the “all before me” I feel calling in whispers hard to hear … ?

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For a long time now I have seen my life as being a cork bobbing in a great sea.  The currents of living draw me this way and that.  The waves of life crash and fall – but “corks” just bob around fine.  Sometimes I seem to spin slowly and endlessly but am always moving.  Sometimes I seem to be churned around and pushed hard but always bob back up.

It is a peaceful connected living.

It requires no power.  It requires no “straight edges”.  No boundaries.  And it takes less divided spaces.  All just seems to fit even when it doesn’t.

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“All I need walks before me.”

I think is not “following” at all.

It is having all I desire … before … behind … around … in everything … in everyone … all the time … waiting for me to decide.

It is not following at all.

And it has authority

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