I think we have been taught that love means never saying no, always being there, always supporting, never walking away, never pushing away, being always constant, being always present. And confuse the real of “love” with the convenience of “love”.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” And all that. Perfect for weddings. The one word in all that for me is “it” – love is “it”. And “it” has that quality of constancy, of presence, of sameness, of permanent sameness.
There is an advert for perfume on tv here, in which a vivacious young lady is painted (in 46 seconds) as a free loving passionate spirit of love (of the physical world) with the strap-line (and sensuous invitation to camera), “And you … “What would you do for love?”
There is a phrase to describe such relationship partners: High Maintenance.
Those “relationship partners” who require (a lot!) of time and focus and energy and money (paying for the “free spirit” activities) for “the relationship” to be passionate and vivacious.
High Maintenance is NOT a compliment.
“The Pharisees came and began to argue with Jesus, asking him for a sign from heaven, to test him. And he sighed deeply in his spirit and said, “Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to this generation.” And he left them, and getting into the boat again, he went across to the other side.” Mark 8:11-13
It strikes me that Jesus can be viewed as either high maintenance or not. Either a free loving spirit or not. Either one who invites of me, “And you … “What would you do for love?” or not. Except that is not my experience.
My experience is that I am invited to relationship that suits my being – that suits my changing being – my changing preferences. That suits me not being an unchanging “it”. Nor is of an unchanging God Soft Hands Jesus – never an “it” being – and never an “it” of “taught (biblical) love” – but a loving and living “real” that grows and develops as I live and love.
I think it is too easy to buy-into the tradition of church (biblical) teaching and view these two verses as stuffed full of “its”:
The Pharisees – a permanent “it” of avarice and control, always a malevolent presence, a “them” (to our “us”).
A sign from heaven – a recognisable divine intervention, a miracle, a visible physical (obvious) “something”.
This generation – obviously theirs and not ours, a time in the past (not like our time of the present).
Jesus – perfect, static perfectness, always perfectness, always wise (beyond our words), always (really) “God” but not (really) “God” – and “Jesus” just another “it” we can never be.
A litany of its – just like the “it” of love.
But I have argued with God – I have argued with Jesus – the biblical stereotypes I was taught …
But I have asked for (biblical stereotype) signs …
But I have seen Jesus walk away (with a tut and a flounce).
Because I was taught I was not good enough – not (biblically) good enough … not (follower) enough … not (faithed) enough … not (saved) enough … not (good) enough … but ALWAYS a sinner saved by grace freely given (With a f****ng HUGE IOU, Paul!)
And that has all been in the short space a few decades. My present time and my generation.
But I have changed. A few short decades of being married and creating a family … the few short decades of being alive … I still change – I will always change. Which is why the “it” of love has become UNreal – not an “it” – just as I am not UNchanging.
My love is not a neat unchanging “it”.
My loving IS me and I am a changing love – so the biblical God and Jesus have become my personal God Soft Hands Jesus – and GSHJ changes (weirdly) to match my changes. I was that High Maintenance free spirit. I have asked my biblical God and Jesus, “And you … “What would you do for love?” And I have found a “me” that no longer demands, no longer sees a flouncing God or Jesus, no longer sees the cardboard cut-out biblical stereotype as taught.
I journey.
And had I not been all that … had I not been the High Maintenance “it” …
Would I have ever found the real living and loving of really loving and really being loved (and really being invited to really change)?
.
Once again, you challenge us to look at who we are and who He is, and how do we perceive His love. Well done, my friend. You said you were taught that you’re not worthy. Who is? None of us our worthy of His love, yet when we become lost in a relationship with Him, He makes us worthy. That’s His love!
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“Who is?”
Thanks Pete, in my journey we were always taught that we were (and always are) “not worthy” – “original sin” and all that follows.
For me, this is where the “inerrant and infallible” bible becomes full-on religion – and God is asked to leave the building (while taught religion perpetuates the biblical “God” of division and demand).
🙂
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Unworthyness- I believe we are unworthy to judge/condemn others because we are all human, & He alone is worthy-perfect– God. We are all sinners in need of love, mercy and Grace.
but all that is wrong with us, it doesnt mean we are unworthy of being loved. What child is unworthy of love? God loves us, we are His creation/children. And He gave everything He could give to be with us for all eternity. I know I believe each of my children are unique & priceless. And how much more is God able to love. HE IS LOVE.
Me and my husband have been together for about 30 years. The other day I questioned his love and faithfulness because of some twisted information I came across on the interent. It was just a scheme to get your credit card info. but I questioned him. I didnt realize how I was hurting him as I was doubting and questioning his love and faithfulness. Yet, he still loved me just the same, and was willing to do whatever it took to claims my fears and doubt. I catch my husband at times looking at me with a little tear in his eyes because he just really loves me for me.
I find it scares me to think about the love God has for me I get flooded with fear and doubt. – Unworthyness – but I believe the kingdom of heaven is rightousness (standing on His rightousness) peace (that comes from knowing we are truly loved and cared about) and Joy (the freedom in knowing we are His) in the Holy Spirit that is (the Comforter). A big soft comforter. Like a warm comfy blanket that covers us making us feel protected safe and loved. And if I can find that place, I find rest and it feels like flying maybe like the “mounting on the wings like Eagles.” Is scary but when I Trust His Word I find it. (( hugs))
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This is denine by the way he is always changing us.
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Ps… did I mention I am a very awkward kind person. : ) I tend to think backwards.
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I know people who think around, straight through, in colours, in lists, in pictures, in logic – and now backwards!
It’s all good!! 🙂
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Keep on changing! 🙂
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My faith is in Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior. Ephesians 2:8-10: For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
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I saw a picture with a saying yesterday. Can’t remember it exactly but it was something like this.
“A dog is the best company when you are down. A dog doesn’t try to find out why.”
I thought it made sense of so much of this whole “worthy unworthy” belief stuff. 🙂
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Love this!
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Love this! And thanks Paul for helping me on my journey back to the real me and a closer walk with Him. Had an awakening I’d call it over the last week. . I Feel I am See Him in a better light like you talk about here. What a ride. ((Hug))
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WAHOO!! Good for you – so pleased!! ((hugs))
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English is a very poor language, and nothing makes it clearer than the word “love”. In the Greek OT an NT there are six different words used that translators all turn into love. Everything from puppy love to erotic love all come over as love. Jesus showed us what he would do for love, and God showed us by allowing it.
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yes, so right, to say I love you, in English can mean half a dozen things, for example we all think of Eros, hardly ever of Philos, and lastly of Agape. It requires an entire sentence to express one word in Greek
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My experience is to worry less “which one” and more to just “love”. I think love is all of those and more. And it matters not which one it is called. For love is not an it – love is.
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Yes, Paul, you are right in that love is love. Alternately Love is as God is and there is no need for refinement.
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Thank you 🙂
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