When I was little my god was in a box

I used to climb right in and cuddle up to him;

And when he had loved me so, under my bed would he go.

My god in the box.. I took to ‘Show and Tell”

They all laughed at me.

God in a box under your bed…

And as I got older the box became smaller

Until I couldn’t  get in anymore;

I didn’t feel loved anymore

And I kept the box in a cupboard

My god in the cupboard and I was ashamed.

Something was missing and I placed him in a matchbox under the stair.

I realized one day that I had never owned to god,

I’d thought him a game and outgrew his use

I was my man and I didn’t need him

I took out the match box, took a last look inside and burnt him with bread and wine.

I had killed god!

My life was empty though I was dux of the school,

I had done it all by myself!

No god in a box had assisted me I did it, I dig it, ME

O so many friends had I, so sad, so empty was I,

Where was my childhood friend who cuddle me, who lived under my bed?

Nightmares had I of a man and a cross,

Who cried out “Father why have you abandoned me.”

And I was that father, I had incinerated god, the God in the matchbox was the one on the Tree.

When I was little He had played with me, lived in a box under my bed, a tomb that shrunk and shrunk with my tiny soul until I was godless,

Why have I abandoned You?

Forgive me O God, forgive me, do not abandon me to the fire of bread and wine,

I knew not what I did I don’t want to die forever, I never knew You, I thought I possessed  you please Lord forgivest thou me.

The one on the Tree reached out to me, to say “all have crucified me, not only you”, all have killed me time after time, though you are the only one I owned to, in the box that  was my tomb under the the bed.

I have loved you so dearly even when squeezed tight in the matchbox , when you abandoned me, desroyed me, killed me again.

I love you all, I die for you all, that soon you will come to me in the hugest box of all, the throne room of the Father of fathers,

I forgive, I forgive

 

Andrew James Blair 14/02/2018