Hey Simon Peter … got a min?
Yeah bro, what can I do for you?
Well you know how you were a rough diamond and all … fisherman .. calloused hands … out early back late … spitting everywhere … probably cursing too … all that “sinner stuff”?
Yep that’s me – what of it?
Well you know how you lopped of that fella’s ear just as Jesus was taken away – just before you ran away … ?
Are you a role model for “rough tough Christians?”
What’s a Christian?
Well, you know – sinners saved by grace – born again – baptised and bathed in the Holy Spirit – go to church – read the bible – all that “Christian living”.
You still reading the stuff written way back yonder – all that “prophecy stuff”?
Of course it’s The Bible!
What’s the bible?
You know – all that old Jewish stuff and then all the stuff Jesus and Paul did – and you – you’re in it as well.
Really? Is that how it panned out then?
Yep! There are millions of us now! Us and the Muslims have cornered the faith market. The Muslims think they are winning, but we have the Great Commission – and as far as the west in concerned – we have it sewn up (or used to).
What are “muslims” – and what’s the Great Commission? Are they Roman things?
No of course not! Well maybe the “Great Commission” got collared by Rome a little – but you must know what “The Great Commission” is – it’s what Jesus said to all of you before … you know … before He went “up” again.
To heaven of course!
What … ??? Heaven is where we all go after we die! It’s that “big house” in the sky where He has reserved a room for each of us … where we will all sit in His presence … worship Him for all eternity … that “Heaven” …
Really? Is that what being a “Christian” is then? Believing all this stuff like as in “really real”? Do you have to pass a test or something?
What … ??? Are you for real? We read about you – we almost worship you – you have been made a saint – you are revered – you are a role model – you knocked around with Jesus – you walked and talked with “Jesus” – you kept forgetting to buy the bread – you understood so little and yet so much – you even did your own miracles – you even got killed for Him … you are The Man (after Jesus and Paul – obviously).
And THAT’S why you need to tell me it’s okay to beat up the sinners and the lost who try to take me down with intellectual arguments and fancy words! They are beating up Jesus and the bible says that is wrong! You did it – and so am I!
You really are one fucked-up crazy!
What … ???
Don’t get me wrong – so was I. I think we all are in some shape or form. But that is not the destination. Being a fucked-up crazy is not “a good thing”. I might have been but then I wasn’t. I might have lopped off an ear – I might have run away – I might have done a lot of things and I did. But I am me. I am not there as some equal opportunities quota … the tax collector, the candle stick maker and the fucked-up crazy – yep, that’s the equal opportunities sorted!
I was and always only ever could be “me”. I was not a “Christian” I was me. I was not “a role model” I was me. I got killed – and I wouldn’t ask anyone to ever make that decision because of “me”. That was me being me.
If you have all this in writing (like we never had) – are you actually “reading it”?
I got beaten up day after day for being an asshole. I walked miles, I watched loads, I heard loads, I tried loads – and I still got it wrong … I slept in the weirdest of places, I ate the weirdest of foods (usually because we forgot to get the bread) and my wife nearly divorced me loads of times AND my children all thought I was an absent father to this “New Job”.
Not the one with cute nets and photogenic boats … The “new job” where every day might be my last – and eventually was. Upside down with my nuts hanging loose for all to see. You think I’m a role model for you being another fucked-up crazy? Sorry to disappoint you, pal, but you really do need to talk to someone.
But before you walk off with all that “Simon Peter let me down!” shit … Let me tell you something I do know.
I spent three years being shown what Love really is. Three long years that stayed with me with the rest of my life. That was so powerful my wife never did divorce me like she promised … was why my children all found a dad they could love as I loved them. I found that love was so much more than just a word – or four (if you speak greek). Love that allowed me to accept that each of us is journeying our own journey. That as our paths cross we have the opportunity to connect. That sometimes we take that opportunity and sometimes we don’t. And that’s okay – because there’s always someone further up the line who will. Someone you or I haven’t met yet. Someone who might add a lick of paint, shave a rough edge, cause you and me to think, trigger a something only meant for me or you.
You want my permission to be you? You have it.
But that isn’t love. That is just the beginning of the journey. And where you go from here is not down to me or even Jesus and then Paul. It’s not down to any of “us” you think you need to become. It’s not even being a Christian (whatever that is). It’s not what has been written down and set in stone (ten commandments come to mind). It’s only about your journey and the connections you make or don’t. It is only about love. Not FOR YOU. Not FROM YOU – not for this person but not that person – and it’s not about pissing others off because you have been “saved” (whatever that is) and they haven’t.
You are OR you are not “Love”. And THAT’S why I did what I did. I became “Love”. And your choice is whether you will OR won’t. And that has nothing to do with me or Paul or Jesus.
But thanks for putting me third!