A prisoner of my own faith


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A few years ago we were broken into.  It was only when our daughter woke-up and saw our car was missing that she woke us and we found the front-door slightly ajar … then a rear door with the door-curtain caught … then a fence panel in the back garden half-raised .. and a bunch of keys (with the car key) missing.  But we had to look to make sure – we had to think where things had been and what was out of place.

It was a speculative burglary we were told.  Two or three walk the street.  Try each front door.  Are in and out in double-quick time.  We had never been burgled before.  Now we live as though we will be burgled at any time.  And it feels like being a prisoner in our own home.

“Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.  But understand this: if the owner of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into.  Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.  Who then is the faithful and wise slave, whom his master has put in charge of his household, to give the other slaves their allowance of food at the proper time?  Blessed is that slave whom his master will find at work when he arrives.  Truly I tell you, he will put that one in charge of all his possessions.  But if that wicked slave says to himself, “My master is delayed”, and he begins to beat his fellow-slaves, and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour that he does not know.  He will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  bible

Back to being a Chosen People.  More rules and expectations.  More consequences for falling short.  The Destruction of the Temple and Signs of the End Times … The Day and Hour Unknown … The Parable of the Ten Virgins …

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The more I sit at the feet of Jesus as one the Chosen, the more restricted and bound I am becoming.

Rather than being freed, I find myself less free.  Rather than being forgiven I find myself accused.  I hear right and wrong … must and must not … should and should not … I have to choose between will and will not.

I am becoming a prisoner of my own faith!

And I guess to the Chosen People this is all terribly important – they have all these prophecies to be fulfilled – all this Chosen “religious stuff” to live up to – this historic Chosen “complacency” to be shaken out of – to learn what it is like to be broken into when you are sleeping.  But at what cost?

Where is love in any of this?

If I have to “be ready” … “alert”this or that or the other  – that is not Love.  That is changing my behaviour to meet the expectation of winning a lifetime of eternal something (promised way back yonder).  Getting or not getting my just reward … being part of all the goodies promised.  And the more I listen as a Chosen People – the less I want to be one.  The more I am bound by this religion – the less I want to be bound.  The more I am told how to win – the less I want to win.

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I have found Love in this bible of politics and revision and machination and superstition.

Love that does not demand or expect.  Eternity in each second I live in the moment.  Reward that requires nothing of me or for me.  Just this way of being that “is”.  A way of being that sees each as sacred, as unique, as different, as the same.  A way of being that “is” because “is” cannot be switched off (unless I choose).  That has something so “stupid” we actually idolise those who live their ”is”.

We call them a “saint” and the church makes them an idol.  We  shower them with awards and celeb status in the secular AND religious world.  It seems that the “is” of unconditional love “is” strength that we ALL admire and ALL – secretly –  yearn for in our own lives.

That is my freedom.  And that is what I found in this bible.

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All it took was to shake loose the shackles of being “Chosen” OR “Gentile.

The tricky bit is what to put in its place because we all live by belief – all of us.  And I choose the “is” of unconditional love.  I find that fits with the bible.  I find that fits with the secular.  I find that fits with all faiths AND non-faiths.

And God Soft Hands Jesus and me –

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We would love it if you found that too.

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4 thoughts on “A prisoner of my own faith

  1. Reblogged this on Church Set Free and commented:

    “The more I sit at the feet of Jesus as one the Chosen, the more restricted and bound I am becoming.

    Rather than being freed, I find myself less free. Rather than being forgiven I find myself accused. I hear right and wrong … must and must not … should and should not … I have to choose between will and will not.

    I am becoming a prisoner of my own faith!”
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    Have I lost it – or found it?

    Is this an unintended – or intentional – by-product of so much bible teaching?

    Is it okay to journey this way?

    Does God have the capacity to love me when I think aloud?

    Do I have the capacity to know God when I think aloud this way?

    Do you have the capacity to love me when I think this way?

    🙂

    Thank you –

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course you do, Paul. God loves your kind of questioning and reasoning. I wish we all could be so honest with Him. I love your blog because it is a thought process you take us through. Very refreshing.

      If you are walking in unconditional love, you should feel no restrictions, only freedom. Because you are walking in all that God wants us to walk in if you are in that state of mind. It is a hard place to get to. The journey is the battle, but if you arrive there, you can walk in freedom. Unconditional love, the kind of love that is described in 1 Cor 13:4-8 is the destination. As for me, I have a long way to go.

      Be blessed

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are very kind, Pete – thank you!
        I think we all never quite “get there” no matter how close or far, yet if we “are in that state of mind” – surely that is enough. Perfection and “winning” is not what love is about. Love is a “state of mind” – and I think you are much closer than you think.
        ((hugs))

        Liked by 1 person

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