Saturday 8 September, The Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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So Mary … now all the fuss has died down … your Son has gone back to heaven … all that is left is the adoration of the Roman Catholic Church … being religious royalty … having to forward all the prayers from RC congregants and clergy to God all day and night without a thought for your own needs …

Now that THAT is over – tell me … What was it really like … ?

What was “what” really like?

The sex, Mary – the sex with “God”!

“SEX” … Is that all you are interested in?

Well Jesus is the Son of God and you ARE called the “Virgin Mary”, and you are (half) God’s mum!  And that’s all AND only because of “the sex”.

So you just want the bedroom stuff?  Are you actually a real Christian at all?

Funny that – you’re not the first to ask … But we digress …

No – I am not going to tell you about the sex.

Really? The bedroom is centre stage in the Christian Catholic Church (and every faith as far as I can see) … No sex before marriage.  No adultery.  No man-man sex.  No lady-lady sex.  Nor with beasts of the field (and I guess that includes pets of the home as well).  Sex is really important to the God-fearing – so why should you have a special pass to “draw a veil” over all of that?  That happened (still happens?) with all these “little indiscretions” of the qualified clergy: “Bring the little children unto me …” that wasn’t an invitation for all this abuse and the rest!  Sex is STILL centre-stage and always will be in the Church!

WTF?  Now that is news to me.  We had stoning’s for ALL those “behaviours” … public stoning’s … no “drawing a veil” over that kind of “behaviour”!  Now that is a commandment worth having! 

Whoa!!!  How did we get onto corporal punishment?

You mean how did we get onto “keeping the commandments” … ?  How did we get off keeping the commandments?  They are The Commandments.

Like no sex before marriage … ?

You really are a piece of work … Straight back to the nasty!

“Nasty”?  But I thought “sex” between two people bound in a covenant of love is a wondrous celebration of that love (so long as I pull out before squirting – no “birth control” to tarnish the wonder of procreation with every “nasty”).

Well, yeah … there is that take on it all.  But apart from keeping Joseph sane each time his brain was itching between his legs – the whole thing is just “nasty”.

So did you and God do the “nasty” … ?

OK …. If you must know – yes we did.   And I can tell you He is very “accomplished” …. Very Accomplished …. very … wow was it “very very very  …”  Oh My … … …. … !    

And that’s ALL you’re getting.

Thank you Mary – millions have been dying to know!

But what I want to know is what does that make me?

It makes you a saint Mary!  Revered!  The Mother of God!  That’s what it makes you!  Sinless!  A Virgin!  Even with more children by Joseph (figure that one out).

Me … “sinless” … “revered” … you have to be joking!  And just WTF is a “saint”?

A saint is a go-between for millions of Roman Catholics you have never met.  Millions still taught to fear God so they ask you to ask God because He is so scary.  Who still have to do the “nasty” without any protection at all – even though you did it outside of marriage (but you did do it without any protection).  You set the bar high for all those following millions!  Oh – and they didn’t eat meat on Friday** (go figure this “saint stuff”)!

You are a Saint to all of them – man, woman and child.  Always have been.  Always will be. YOU are more approachable than even God Himself.  And ALL because of the bedroom stuff and sex outside of marriage.  You changed history Mary!  Except “history” doesn’t want to change very much at all.

Well f**k me … ! 

Thank YOU!

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** Traditionally members of the Roman Catholic faith abstained from eating red meat on Fridays as part of a penance to mark the day of Christ’s death. … As a result, the abstention of eating meat on Fridays, fell out of favour with many Catholics, who now generally only observe the rule on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

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23 thoughts on “Saturday 8 September, The Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary”

  1. Reblogged this on Church Set Free and commented:

    “No – I am not going to tell you about the sex.”

    “Really? The bedroom is centre stage in the Christian Catholic Church (and every faith as far as I can see) … “

    Christmas is coming and seems to get earlier each year! Not even had our summer holidays and the Nativity Story is in the aisles.

    So I thought it was time to have a chat with Mary – mano-mano.

    Get behind the public story and see the person behind the sainthood. And I learned a lot …

    And so did Mary.

    “WTF? Now that is news to me. We had stoning’s for ALL those “behaviours” … public stoning’s … no “drawing a veil” over that kind of “behaviour”! Now that is a commandment worth having!”

    Enjoy the fireside chat …

    🙂

    Paul

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  2. AH Paul. Love your humor and creativity. This is quite a piece of work. The RCC is quite a piece of work. Heck, the church is following the world in so many ways. What exactly did happen to the commandments?????

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  3. actually the stricture against eating meat on Fridays was a convenient holdover from a time in the dim past when Europe was in a starvation situation, and in order to keep the peasants from eating the very animals that would till the soil and have more animals too, the church placed a ‘religious’ ban on eating meat at all, and fasting as well at specified times during the week. It worked so well, the peasants suvived (thin but alive) and once the hard times passed the Church decided, hey, what a GOOD idea, let’s make them fast once a week anyway. They loves their strictures….

    And when I was growing up, meat was meat. chicken, beef, pork, anything. Fish we could eat.

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    • In England we did not eat meat or Chicken on Friday in memory of the Crucifixion, we ate Fish because it was neither flesh nor fowl – as they used to say. here in Australia the Catholic church and some others still eat Fish on Friday.
      Another thing – During WW1 the Pope relaxed the law that we must fast for 12 hours before Communion due to Soldiers fighting and the shortages of food in general.

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    • My dad told the story that as a young man, in their work canteen, he always asked for fish on Friday. Friday fish was better cooked, fresher – and much more inviting than the usual alternatives. And every Friday he was asked if he was “catholic”. And very Friday he answered “yes”. Because, as he told us children: “catholic” is all who believe whereas “Roman” as a prefix to “catholic” is not. So had they asked whether he was “Roman Catholic” – he would have not enjoyed freshly cooked fish each week!

      Always made me chuckle and taught me that if you can’t find any humour in the humans of religion it might say something about me rather than religion. 🙂

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  4. I remember my mom always cooked fish on Friday. Every Friday we were in Catholic we were Protestant. So I’m not really sure where the fish on Friday thing came from but I still cook fish on Friday quite often

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  5. Pingback: Marys Tale | Just me being curious

  6. I read the meat prohibition had something to do with not eating horses – which ties in with what Judy wrote – and it is the CC (or t least the Pope responsible for the edict) that helped turn the tide for the average ”nag”.

    Re. The topic of the post:
    The more one considers this aspect of the bible narrative the more ridiculous the entire thing becomes.
    In fact, one shouldn’t really worry about exegeses and hermeneutics. Just look at the plot, for goodness sake.
    It is probably the single most ridiculous nonsense ever committed to ”paper”.

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