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I donate blood.  Some of our family don’t.

Deciding to attend and attending … waiting as you always do … filling-in the questionnaire … being checked …  then being told your iron is too low so no thanks … and time after time … that is disheartening.

There is no payment and there are clear rules and guidance.

So every time I update my (tattooed) family-tree with a new addition there is a  suspension … if I travel off the well-beaten path … And then last time I noted a headache-tablet recently taken.

And because it was not a well-known tablet, the head-nurse had a chat.  Turns out that just having a headache ruled me out – the tablet was irrelevant.  Extracting blood from a body with a hurting head is not good for the body.

I am glad they have these rules and concerns in place.

And then the odd scare from the other side of the coin – the receiving of donated blood.

Because those who receive blood aren’t in a good way.  The reasons are never usually less than ER-life-threatening.  And in THAT moment I want to believe in (wo)mankind … our altruism … our great science … our medical skill and competence … all of the stuff that is going to bring me back to good-health from my impending-near-death.

So it was with mixed feelings I read this news article:

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“The gay men breaking blood donation rules”

“Certainly I don’t think the people whose lives I’ve potentially saved would complain.”  Asked why he takes the risk, knowing medical professionals believe it unsafe, he says he practises safe sex and is tested more frequently than heterosexual people.  “No straight person I know goes and gets checked every six months,” he says.  David, like other men the programme spoke to that knowingly breach the rules, says he takes the Prep drug every day – which can prevent users from contracting HIV.”

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A long time ago I came to the conclusion that Church keeping “gays” at arms-length is  not only a pile-of-bullshit in biblical terms – but is (very simply) – inhuman and unloving.  Love is not dictated by others’ “validated disgust”.  And just because there is “validated approval” for my (assumed) sexual activity doesn’t make my “love” any better or worse.

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BUT donating blood is not about me.

Donating blood is about you.  The you (or me) in desperate need.  A time when your (and my) body’s defences are weakened.  When we are fighting to survive and NOT be at our deadest.

So donating or not donating is NOT about my ego-self-esteem.  It’s not about me having to wait months after every tattoo … or having okay iron levels just not high enough to cope with less blood … or travelling to a place regarded as less than 100% safe … not even about me having a headache … And nor is any of that relevant to my sexual-preferences-identified-gender.

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“Ryan – not his real name – has been donating blood, against the rules, for nearly 10 years.  He says the rules makes him feel he is not good enough and his blood does not matter.  “It’s not nice that you’re almost discriminated against and you know that you are doing something that you shouldn’t be doing,” he says.  “But at the same time, morally, you are helping somebody else by giving blood.”

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AAARGGGGHHHHH … … … … … !!!!!

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It’s all about me!

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I see that in government … in social media … in aspirational advertising … in financial credit vetting and grading … in “social housing” (as we label mini-ghettos) … I see it in  so many areas of our “first world” society of consumption and excess and waste.

And THAT “me me me” will kill all of us eventually.  Or maybe not …

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Love them, me AND you.  Unconditionally.

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That “me” has a healthy balance of a healthy species survival to it – of healthy planetary healthy survival.  Of healthy life rather than unhealthy death.  Of hope rather than despair.  Of fun rather than tears.

The bible is full of contradictions.

Just like life.  Just like love.  Just like me and you.

But being offended …

That’s my choice every time!

And just like whether my being “biblically correct” is more important to me than loving  unconditionally (which is also biblically correct) … I ALWAYS get to choose.

Which is why I choose love.

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