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Picking a kitchen supplier/design is an interesting experience.  Each company differentiates itself from the others.  Each touts a “deal to be done”.  Each promises something the others won’t.  Each sells itself as better-different.  It’s just a case of  finding the right company.

What we are finding is that “a kitchen is a kitchen”.  A place to store things … to prepare things … to cook things … to eat cooked things … to wash all the stuff used for all of that … to put the stuff away in the store-things-places all ready for the next time.  Two or three times a day – mostly for us but also for others – and then the occasional biggie  when everyone is here.

The challenge is not all the “stuff” stuff – it’s the us and our home stuff.  Because I have found I get used to the “stuff” stuff whatever I live with.

The current kitchen we are making redundant … ?

It has its frustrations and dead-spaces … its funny quirks we never planned or wanted …  But after 15+ years of living with it … two or three times a day … on our own or with a house-full … it is what it is.  We haven’t starved nor ever been unable to feed one or two AND a house-full.

The kitchen furniture is “stuff”.  The cupboard-carcasses once screwed into place are out of sight.  The doors carefully selected and colour-coordinated will become like wallpaper – visible but usually unnoticed.  And the “stuff” we will store is simply supermarket samples – ones or twos of a supermarket’s vast stock.  And the cooker might be “look-good-induction” – the ovens might be “built-in-all-shiny” – the fridge-freezer might be “American” or “French style” (and a particular fantasy – because we have lived for more than two decades with a small larder-fridge as our only option) – but the whole thing is not about “stuff“stuff … it is all about us and who we are …

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Will this kitchen be us … will the look be us … will the gadgets and tricksy-dicksy additions make us go “wow” … will it make our family go “wow” … will it be value-for-money (a lot of money – so a lot of “value” needed) … and, when we come to sell our house … when that sale is not of our home but just bricks-and-mortar and boxes-to-be-ticked by others (we have never met nor will again) … will our investment maximise our return?

Home and us has been a journey.  And I have come to realise “home” is very simple.

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The early years … home was where I was born.   Then we moved … and that was my home.  And then I left home … but home was still “home” … And then mum and dad moved in their later years – and overnight that became “home”.

My previous homes were now places with memories … places to visit and stay awhile … but no longer (or ever again) … “home” …  and the simplicity … ?

Mum and Dad ARE home.

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I think that is why I have struggled to find “the right church” all these years … As I have been told on-and-off all these years …

It isn’t (just NOT) about the building – it isn’t (just ALL) about the people.  It’s about where “Mum and Dad” are.

Where they smile and tell me off … where they welcome me and strangers they know and I don’t … It’s only AND ALL about mum and dad and where mum and dad live and breathe.

Because once we became “big people” mum and dad were NEVER about sitting-up-straight … NEVER about wearing-the-right-clothes … NEVER about being worshipped-and-revered … NEVER about fitting-in-and-doing-things-our way … NEVER about “we have always done it this way and we always will”  …

Mum and dad had “stuff” – but their stuff changed all the time to suit those in their day that particular day.  And that meant “stuff” didn’t matter.  Mum and dad were always – and only – about love.

And that’s where my “home” is.  And that’s why I have struggled with “church”.

It shouldn’t be about finding “the right church”.

Ever.

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