I am convicted


(With thanks to Mike, The Modern Theologian, whose comments prompted this post)

 

 

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Some time ago I was convicted by a non-tele-evangelist (of the best possible kind).  A believer who travelled-for-God spreading The Word and sowing seeds.  The key moment for me was the question he asked (posed by God Himself) …

“How many have you brought me?”

How many souls had I saved and brought to God during my journey here on earth. What had I done to earn my way into a top-seat in heaven?  How much of “The Great Commission” had I personally fulfilled?  It struck home.

Yeah!  I am convicted!  Let me at the sinners lost and lonely!!

I am not convicted any longer.

Which begs the question – how much value does being “convicted” actually have?  Because I see that phrase used as its own evidence of truth: I am convicted.  Is a final statement.  A conclusion of having seen-experienced truth:

God is Great.

Now the infamous final cry of a suicide-bomber.

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I wonder if we paid less heed to “The Great Commission” – which is a numbers game with all the consequences-pitfalls of “the numbers game” – and more to “The Greatest of These” – which comes without baggage and distraction …

Whether we might meet God where He is  – rather than always expecting it to be the other way around.  I wonder whether less focus on “sin avoidance” might mean less Christian-mask-wearing in front of each other and God.  Whether the institution of biblical correctness perpetuated by the colleges of God – with the inevitable consequence of hierarchy-envy AND celeb-envy –  might not be diminished … might finally be seen as a distraction that it is.  Because …

Yeah!  I am convicted!  Let me at the sinners lost and lonely!!

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Might be the biggest barrier ANYONE ever invented to NOT coming close to God (no devil required).

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Because The Great Commission is about me changing you.   Me preaching at you so you change your ways.  Me teaching you so that you change your beliefs.  Me “let at you” so that you are saved.  And the best bit … “I did that for God, hallelujah!”

With one small glitch –

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I cannot change you nor you me.

I was “convicted” (see above) and now I am not.  So was I “changed” – or merely distracted for a while?  Was that a necessary “change” you made – or a delaying strategy in my journey?  Is this “stuff” necessary for me to glean the truth – or simply leading me to a place of immediate spiritual comfort – where I then stay in my church-comfort-zone-cocoon until I get my biblically-correct-heavenly-reward?

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I can only change me if I allow.  God cannot nor you.

All you can do is push me about a bit.  In this direction or that.  And I can respond by being “convicted” up that alley or down this alley and over there and then back here again.

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All the while God walks silently alongside inviting not “conviction” nor “how many have you brought me” … but for me to change into Him.  For me to become love without condition just as He is for me.

I Am.  Again.

The simplicity of The Greatest of These.  Again.

Every moment I have an invitation to be Love.  Again.

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And again and again and … over and over … for all eternity.  Every moment is my invitation to be Love.  To become Him.  Again.  And again and again and …

I am not convicted.

I Am.  Again.

The simplicity of The Greatest of These.  Again.

Every moment I have an invitation to be Love.  Again.

How do I become like God? (for that is the invitation of the biblically correct bible)

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I don’t.

For when I try and unpick Love I am not love I am outside love.

But when I am Love …

I don’t “need” to be God.

I Am.

Is enough.

(if I allow)

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2 thoughts on “I am convicted

  1. It took me a while to come to the understanding that my task is not to bring more people to God. I am not an evangelist, that’s not my gift. Peter and Paul were evangelists. They went into communities, preaching the way, then moved onto the next community. I have a friend who did that in his younger days. I am a Theologian, my gift is to explain God, His Word, and His desires for us, just as John did. Not everyone is tasked with the same gifts. Not everyone is skilled in evangelization.

    Liked by 1 person

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