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I have seen death.  I have breathed death.  I have watched death unfold.  I fight death daily.  I invest in life.  I invest in living more days alive so less days dead.  I wish for life.  I desire life.  I love life.  Even when life seems not to love me back.

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I have seen suicide.  I have breathed suicide.  I have watched suicide unfold.  I have once played with suicide.  Felt its whisper of invitation.  Its promise of peace.  Its lie that those I love would be better off without me.

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I have seen evil.  And breathed it in.  Felt its power.  Watched evil unfold.  Feared its power.  Been astounded by the force of rage.  Exhausted by the energy it devours.  I have been evil.  Swallowed-up and spat out again totally spent.

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I have seen Love.  I have witnessed the power of Love over all the rest.  I have been changed not through desperation nor hopelessness nor rage and exhaustion.  I have been changed through finding I can be more than I ever thought I could be.

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I have been Love and energised beyond anything else.  Filled with lightness and ease.  Overflowed with connections that spark yet more energy, more hope, more kindness.  I have seen the power of Love when many come together and change lives and worlds and hearts and minds.  I have seen Love needless of being “right” or “correct” or “in charge”.  Love has changed me in ways I would never have imagined but now would never give-up. 

And all this in my own short lifetime.  My own few years.  My own unknowing and ignorant lifetime.  My own few experiences with my own small circle of those connected.

I desire more.  I invite more.  Possessions less.  Connection more.  Material less.  Peace more.  Power and prestige not at all.  Personal change always.  To be changed and changed again until I Am Love.  For Love has an eternity found only in The Moment  – that Death hasn’t – nor Suicide – nor that Rage ever can.  For they each lie – they promise something they cannot – won’t ever – deliver.

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Only Love delivers.  Only Love in this Moment delivers more than it promises.  Allows me to change if I wish or not if I don’t.  Love’s power is in Love’s gentleness.  Love’s infinity is in Love’s millisecond.  Love’s everything is in Love’s nothing.  Love costs me nothing yet gives me everything.

Why should I keep that to myself?  Why should I hoard something that is not mine?  Why should I worry it will not last?  Why make Love something it never can be – mine?

I Am Love or I Am Not.

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So dear God of the Bible now wrapped in the possessions and material ownership of Religion … dear Christians of the World now invested in bible-study and the proximity of The End Times … dear believers of all faiths who insist that only by conversion and compliance to a particular belief-set can Love be known and fulfilled … dear secular warriors determined to bring down believers you name charlatans … dear all who insist that Love is owned and branded – a possession I can possess – but priced out of my ability to know (unless I agree with you) …

Maybe you are The Lost World … the False Teachers …  Maybe you are those I should avoid … who wish me to price and catalogue my Deeds of Life – weigh my Transactions of “love” – see where the scales fall … On the side of “not enough must try harder” or “well done – keep up the good work” … On the side of “earned” or the side of “yet to be earned” … On the side of “you will lose it” or the side of “we think you can keep it”.

I desire not End Times.  I wish for no ownership of Love.  I see no value in ever trying to earn Love.  For none of that IS love.

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Love is not to be found only in study.  Nor only in endeavour.  Nor only good deeds.  Nor only faith.  Nor in church or temple – at least no more than anywhere and everywhere else.  Love is not just fine words.  Love is not a heavy burden.  Love is not all the stuff we like to make “love”.  Nor is Love the humping and grinding sweat of physical intimacy – the romancing before unclothing – the bedroom stuff that is scrutinised as okay or not okay.

Love cares not – sweats not the small stuff – nor even the big stuff.

Love is blind to the bible as we define correctness.  Is blind to the tradition of religious etiquette and righteous one-upmanship.  Love is blind to colour and culture – gender and skin-deep correct beauty – to correct teaching …  Love is blind to sin … Love is blind to all that we consider necessary and appropriate.

Love begat the Law – and we have made the Law begat “love” of transaction.

For me the bible is simple.  Just as Love is simple.

I Am

Or I Am not.

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