Do I see rules or advice



If you are up to another slow meander I would love your company.

I am troubled by something I have seen so many times and am seeing again. But before we begin … this came to mind last night …

I know someone in the USA who writes long posts like this using only the movement of his eyes – one letter at a time.  His “condition” has a very long name I can never remember, requires many medications, lots of medical hardware, and complex daily care routines simply to keep him alive.  His writing is amazing not because of his disabilities but because HE is amazing!  I know another in Australia with a different bunch of life-threatening conditions.  He who used to be she is also amazing.  There are others in different countries all of whom are amazing despite their own “personal prisons” (that they don’t even recognise because they are too busy being amazing)!

Fancy a wander … ? 

One of the biggest arguments I see here is about being “right” (or as I see it: “Do I see “rules” or “advice”?”)

If I see “rules” then I have two choices: compliance or rule-breaking.  If I see “advice” then I have as many choices as I want.  So the “rules” try and convert the “advice” (because it is not – it’s rules) and the “advice” get cross with the “rules” (because they aren’t).  And always kindness gets trampled without a thought.  And then we need “mods and admins” (which is an abuse of the English language right there).  The way I see it – none of that matters because I used to be one and now I’m the other and still am both a lot of the time.

Example? 😊

I was born into a Christian household.  My mum and dad’s fault.  So I was as well.  No right or wrong – just “is”.  Millions are/were – just as millions are born into different faiths or no faith at all.  I never had a choice and neither did you.  THAT isn’t about right or wrong or even about rules or advice – it just is.

And for 15-16 years I “was” because it was expected.  Until one day I realised that this stuff is really  important to a lot of people.  And my “faith” was “cultural” and expected and about “fitting-in”.  So I stepped back and journeyed without those expectations and “rules”.  And –  a real bummer – found different “rules or advice” in every walk of life and culture.  Seems the world always needs me to choose between rules or advice.  Just as I am finding here.

Back to church for a minute?

The bible says – so we must (with all the “cost and sacrifice” that brings). The bible invites – so I explore (with all the freedom that brings).  Same bible.  Same words.  Just the same as we are doing right here and right now with the shielding letters: rules or advice? 

You can guess which way I journey.

It’s how I met these peeps across the world. A planet we are finding has more in common than difference.  That all these boundaries and rules we have created to make us each feel different … it’s not about any of that.  I don’t care for all that and nor does this virus.  The virus sees us all the same.

So, for me, this is about the (other) thing we have in common: being kind.  Wishing others to be kind.  Accepting me for who I am.  Allowing you to be who you are.  That’s how it was for me as a baby.   Until learning how to be a nob got in the way – thinking I had the answers and you didn’t – having to prove to you that I am right and you aren’t.

One small flaw I have learned …

What I believed as a child isn’t what I believe now.  I believe love is unconditional now – just as a child love IS unconditional.  But then as a developing adult, love becomes conditional: I behave – I am rewarded, I give to you – you give back, you don’t love me – then I can’t love you.  Why does that matter here?

We are THE SAME!

None of us has the right to be “right”.  None of us has the right to make others wrong.  And I’m not in a prison unless I build my walls and lock myself in.  And if YOU do that and I don’t – I am still NOT right – and YOU are still not wrong.

Look at the mods and admin.

They are not about right or wrong.  We are not asking them to take sides.  We just want kindness.    That’s all we all want here (unless being right means I must not be kind).  So whether you agree with these words or not – this little meander – is NOT the point: being kind to ourselves and each other is, because THAT’s how I get to break out of MY prison walls that I keep building around ME.

Thank you for tagging along – you are great company!




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.