The cross I imagine I carry



Continued …

I have and I am.  Let’s tarry awhile … 

“I have” is what I see, what I can prove, what I can hold in my hand and show you.  “I haven’t” the same … I can show the absence of what I do not have.  “I should have”  also the same … here is me and this is why I should have this or that … I have is not living by faith.  I have is living by proof.   And living by proof has one major flaw.

I only know what I know – not what I don’t know … ?

WOW!  Concise and to the point, Paul!

And that is “I have – I know”.

But “I am” is not concerned with what I know and don’t know, can prove or not prove … I am is just that: I am who I am and I will journey through this life finding out who I am.

Almost.  What’s missing?  What makes I am worth being “I am”?

Connections.  Relationships.  Love.

Some might call that evolution.  Adapting successfully to your “environment”.   Because don’t we each thrive in community … in the safety of relationships of trust … in relationships and connections that allow each of us to grow … ?  And don’t we all do that in different ways … at different times … and for different reasons … ? 

But I can see from your face you still doubt: “Where does the bible and a Christian fit” … how is “The Great Commission” explained … “? 

What are today’s verses, Paul?

They are Luke 7:1-10

The centurion …

He was “I am”.  His “I have” was occupier, power, might.  Yet to his “I am” I was just another “I am”.  He wanted my “I have” – my healing – but he connected through “I am” – just as I connected with his “I am”. 

“I am” and “I have” are connected – they are in relationship.  And if that relationship is in balance you cannot distinguish one from the other – just as I could not distinguish a difference in this centurion’s – and if you read the verses – he could not see a difference in me either.

So “I have” is not bad? 

No.  “I have” is also “I am”.  Both come as a package – both are you.  But HOW they “fit together” is down to ONLY you.  So how do you allow both to fit and grow naturally – to be seamless – to be One in I Am … ?   I know you know the answer.

With and in love always.

And THAT is where the bible “fits”.  Take it literally and you are screwed.

Literal is “I have”.  Literal is proof and evidence.   Literal stops short of “I am”.  Just like … “No one comes to the father but through me.”  WTF does that mean “literally”?  Or that “Great Commission”  WTF does THAT mean “literally” – just spreading more “I have” … is that all this is about?



And now both of us looking up at the cross I was nailed to when we started talking … 



Look at us “literally” …

Both sprawled on the grass, the cross now empty of me, all the biblical characters frozen like statues.  And this is ALL imagery!  All because I Am “The Son of God”  – and I Can mess with “The Bible”.



The bible is just one key to just one lock that you fiddle with if you want.  But whichever locks … and whichever keys … once you open the door … Then you choose whether you want to enter or not. 

And if you do …

Then you have to put down the bible-key as a literal “I have” document-thing and live  between the lines.  The “between the lines“ that invite you to find your own self – your seamless fit – your own “I am”.  To grow the seamless fit of “I am” and “I have”.  To live seamlessly without fear.  To love seamlessly without fear.  To become I am who doesn’t even realise what “I have’s” you REALLY do have.   

So now, Paul … you tell me …  How can any “one” write all of “that” … ?  Because you might have “The Word” in front of you … but YOU write “The Word” – not me.



Do you have to leave soon – to get back up “there”?

Paul … I was never “up there”. 

I cannot be “up there”.  I am you.  Don’t you see that yet?   I am not “me” – I am not separate to I have  – I am is not separate to “I am” – I am is not “something” … I am is everything and everyone.  I-you-we-all-am are The Creator here. 

That is I am. 




To be continued .. ?