11th April 2022

Yes, I’m alive.

Inspiration has withheld itself giving me a distinctly blank imagination, a condition highly unaccustomed to me. Spired seems to have in-ed somewhat: Out and about today I noticed that the flatness and emptiness had lifted. I appear to have survived the worst of Covid-19 restrictions by blanking out the world, even the world of imagination, prayer and conversation. O-kay this seems to have exited Stage centre, falling right into the orchestra pit filling my ears with loud clangs and squeaks that gave me speech, firstly an ouch then AhhhH.

The colours of the Lord are returned to me and sense rears up her head, the Holy Dove back from her holidays – ” I will never leave you nor forsake you?”Isaiah 41:10-well it seems she is back though the Lord swears she didn’t go anywhere.

How often have you felt abandoned by God an emptiness in your God Space? Unable to fathom the new fear that abandonment brings? It happens

To David Psalm 22:1

For the choir director; upon Aijeleth Hashshahar. A Psalm of David.
My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God-Abandoning-Individuals?msclkid=f7d40c28b96b11ec9ed6237e9c6af794

To Saul:1 Samuel 16:14

Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him.

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God-Abandoning-Individuals?msclkid=f7d40c28b96b11ec9ed6237e9c6af794

And God abandoned God upon the cross

Mark 15:34

At the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God-Abandoning-Individuals?msclkid=f7d40c28b96b11ec9ed6237e9c6af794


When Saul was abandoned by the Holy Spirit because his Kingship was rejected he was filled with an evil spirit, the madness Saul experienced only soothed by the skill of David on the harp.

It terrifies me to read this. I know that at Pentecost the Holy Spirit became a gift for everyone and not only Priests, Prophets and Kings yet this still does not exclude the departure of the Spirit from any someone.

As Psalm 13 indicates there are caveats on the movement of the Spirit and some or all of these occasions could have been reversed, in God’s time,God’s time.

Psalm 13:1

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.
How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Feelings-Of-Rejection-By-God

Saul was never truly destined to be king, he was the effigy of the ilk of the Nations, accepting this, accepting that David was the true annointed one – communication with God would not have prevented the Spirit leaving him but might have kept the evil one out.

Necessary lessons – even for the Son of Man? Yes, even for the Son of Man who had become sin for us, God cannot abide sin and so left himself to suffer until the Atonement when all harmony was restored.

Theology tells us that God can never leave us since there is nowhere where God is not, yet there are our little God spaces where we think God abides in us;departs from us.

I don’t really think or believe that I was a Godless mess over the past couple of years just a slow learner. There is a time to know the Lord and a time to forget the Lord and in our forgetting the longing for the remembering, the joy in finding, the understanding that there are seasons in our life in God that come and go. Strengthening us, wisdoming us relationshipping us.