Waiting for God

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Do not wait for God.
Do not say you are waiting for God.
Do not wait for God.
Use the heartbeats you have to live.

Do not live for God.
Do not say you are living for God.
Do not live for God.
Use the life you have to grow.

Do not grow for God …

(You get the idea)

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Every time “I wait” for something I put other things and other people on hold.

I can’t speak to you now I am waiting for a call … I can’t meet you then they may be here … I have to go or else I may miss them … 

And yet we speak of God’s perfect timing.  We tell each other how our God is a God of Mystery who holds the universe in His hand.  We read the verses that assure us he knows the hairs on our head.  And then we wait.

We wait for a sign.  In letters big enough and clear enough for us to read.  Breaking-news headlines from our always-on God-cast.  Repeated every thirty minutes in case we weren’t waiting properly.  In case we weren’t waiting for God well enough.

God will bring me my soul mate – despite how lonely I am – how yearning I am – even though all my friends have paired-off – God knows best – God will bring us together – I just need to wait better.

I remember a time when I was young man.  A time of discotheques (as they were called).  A place to meet Miss Right.  Where those who “waited” went home alone.  My best pal remarked (as we both went home alone again) that I had been dancing with the same girl as the previous week.  Not just one dance.  But half the evening.  Discos are dark places was my excuse.  But the truth …

I was scared to be rejected.  And it was easier to not even ask the question – to go home alone – than it was to be rejected.

I think that is why we wait for many things.  We are scared.  We fear.  And love does not fear.  Love without condition fears nothing and no one.  So if we wait in fear we wait without love.  Yet we speak of a God of Love.  A Love so great and timeless and perfect we can never reciprocate that Love (until we die and are freed from mortal sin).

Yet we wait for God.

As I have grown in years I am learning to live rather than wait.  Yet in living my “expected outcome” often doesn’t happen.  And mostly something else does.   Something better.

I have learned that “living” my life brings “living” to me.  People … experiences … new ideas … new “wow”s … unexpected thoughts … unexpected insights … unexpected love … and almost always “safe” … almost always with “perfect timing” …

I have learned that God brings me “living” when I live rather than wait (in fear of rejection).  I have learned that “eternity” is of this moment rather than in another life.  And I have learned that “love without condition” is within my grasp in every moment.  Indeed love without condition is only within my grasp in each moment of living.  So I no longer fear rejection.  I no longer wait for God.

Because this God of Love so great, so timeless, so perfect … Is me.

I am.  Living not waiting.  Love not fear.  Of eternity right now.  And keeping up (as best I can) with His perfect timing.  Timing that is not of another lifetime but of this moment and the next.

Waiting just keeps me from all of that.  Keeps me from being me.  Keeps me in fear.  And makes me not “I Am” but …

I Am Fear.

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