Angry or doubt or just plain had it

With God and his minions.

We yearn and cry for help, we help ourselves so that God may help us, and the answer to our appeals falls on God’s deaf ears as no one is inclined to assist us in our need.

Just how much can I help myself when I have used all I can do and failed? So God must, will help me?

I Timothy 5:8 – If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

How have I denied the faith if I can not provide for my family? Does it mean I had not faith in the beginning, or that the faith of the poor is worse than an unbeliever?

What then is the point of believing since  no longer can I support my family, why bother.

I seek comfort yet find myself abandoned because Poverty  is failing to have the means to care for ourselves.

Poverty is not of the Poor of spirit, then I shall not enter the kingdom?

If the Bible distresses me, if I look too close at its words, if I look for peace and do not find it because of the caveat of doubt.

Jesus has become a task master and I need another Jesus to protect me from whatever the monster is that myself, the church and circumstance have created for me.