Saturday 8 September, The Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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So Mary … now all the fuss has died down … your Son has gone back to heaven … all that is left is the adoration of the Roman Catholic Church … being religious royalty … having to forward all the prayers from RC congregants and clergy to God all day and night without a thought for your own needs …

Now that THAT is over – tell me … What was it really like … ?

What was “what” really like?

The sex, Mary – the sex with “God”!

“SEX” … Is that all you are interested in?

Well Jesus is the Son of God and you ARE called the “Virgin Mary”, and you are (half) God’s mum!  And that’s all AND only because of “the sex”.

So you just want the bedroom stuff?  Are you actually a real Christian at all?

Funny that – you’re not the first to ask … But we digress …

No – I am not going to tell you about the sex.

Really? The bedroom is centre stage in the Christian Catholic Church (and every faith as far as I can see) … No sex before marriage.  No adultery.  No man-man sex.  No lady-lady sex.  Nor with beasts of the field (and I guess that includes pets of the home as well).  Sex is really important to the God-fearing – so why should you have a special pass to “draw a veil” over all of that?  That happened (still happens?) with all these “little indiscretions” of the qualified clergy: “Bring the little children unto me …” that wasn’t an invitation for all this abuse and the rest!  Sex is STILL centre-stage and always will be in the Church!

WTF?  Now that is news to me.  We had stoning’s for ALL those “behaviours” … public stoning’s … no “drawing a veil” over that kind of “behaviour”!  Now that is a commandment worth having! 

Whoa!!!  How did we get onto corporal punishment?

You mean how did we get onto “keeping the commandments” … ?  How did we get off keeping the commandments?  They are The Commandments.

Like no sex before marriage … ?

You really are a piece of work … Straight back to the nasty!

“Nasty”?  But I thought “sex” between two people bound in a covenant of love is a wondrous celebration of that love (so long as I pull out before squirting – no “birth control” to tarnish the wonder of procreation with every “nasty”).

Well, yeah … there is that take on it all.  But apart from keeping Joseph sane each time his brain was itching between his legs – the whole thing is just “nasty”.

So did you and God do the “nasty” … ?

OK …. If you must know – yes we did.   And I can tell you He is very “accomplished” …. Very Accomplished …. very … wow was it “very very very  …”  Oh My … … …. … !    

And that’s ALL you’re getting.

Thank you Mary – millions have been dying to know!

But what I want to know is what does that make me?

It makes you a saint Mary!  Revered!  The Mother of God!  That’s what it makes you!  Sinless!  A Virgin!  Even with more children by Joseph (figure that one out).

Me … “sinless” … “revered” … you have to be joking!  And just WTF is a “saint”?

A saint is a go-between for millions of Roman Catholics you have never met.  Millions still taught to fear God so they ask you to ask God because He is so scary.  Who still have to do the “nasty” without any protection at all – even though you did it outside of marriage (but you did do it without any protection).  You set the bar high for all those following millions!  Oh – and they didn’t eat meat on Friday** (go figure this “saint stuff”)!

You are a Saint to all of them – man, woman and child.  Always have been.  Always will be. YOU are more approachable than even God Himself.  And ALL because of the bedroom stuff and sex outside of marriage.  You changed history Mary!  Except “history” doesn’t want to change very much at all.

Well f**k me … ! 

Thank YOU!

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** Traditionally members of the Roman Catholic faith abstained from eating red meat on Fridays as part of a penance to mark the day of Christ’s death. … As a result, the abstention of eating meat on Fridays, fell out of favour with many Catholics, who now generally only observe the rule on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

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