And who do you say I am

I read that dolphins swim 40 miles in a day.  I read that keeping big cats caged in a zoo – no matter how sympathetic the “cages” – is cruel.  That killer whales in an aquarium get a floppy fin and no one knows why.  And I know that our dog, on a leash in a park, always pulls away from me for the best smells – never towards me.

Beasts of the field and all therein seem predisposed to more freedom than we prefer to allow.

And it is a fact that homing pigeons, released miles from home, return “home” as fast as possible.  And I came to learn that my own home was not a physical place but the “place” where mum and dad lived – that was “home”.  And now it is the same for our children – where we are is home.

We are in Cyprus.  Never been here before.  There are different sights, sounds and smells. Different people and different routines.  We wanted a change.  Somewhere different from the place we normally return to time after time.  We felt constrained.  Duty-bound to go to certain restaurants, say hello to certain people, be a certain thing even though it was our holiday and our time.

Here we are free to be whoever and however we are right now.  We can “rediscover each other” whatever that means.  We can not speak to anyone if we wish.  We can eat wherever we like without risk of offending anyone.  We are constrained not by anyone or anything.  We are free.  We are “home” even though miles away from where we call “home”.  Home is not a place.

Perhaps that is true of heaven.  Perhaps that what Jesus meant when he said he had no PLACE to call home.  Perhaps that is why we JOURNEY through our one lifetime.  Perhaps that is why dolphins and big cats need such vast spaces.  Perhaps home is a state of mind – a place of safety in my mind – a place in my mind where I am free to be whoever and however I am right now.

Perhaps that is Love.  Perhaps Love is Home and home is love.  Maybe that is why we feel constrained – appear ungrateful – see greener grass on the other side – are tempted to wander – always looking for something better. We are not “home” and we are not “love”.  So we wander and search for home and love.

I have found both.  Both are within.  Both are of me.  Both are I am – or I am not.

Perhaps that is why I struggle with church the place.  Perhaps that is why I struggle with religion.  Perhaps that is why I struggle with the bible I was taught.  Struggle with sin (ditto), with forgiveness, with so much of the church’s teachings.  It is all “without”.  It is all a physical “place”.  It is all about “stuff” I have to carry with me.  It is baggage and it is constraining and I will pull away every time.

Because Love does not constrain.  Love frees, releases, allows.

So I don’t go to church on Sunday.  Is not the answer in the statement (also taught by the church)?

I don’t “go to God” as I don’t “go to home” as I don’t “go to Love”.

I am all of those – so how can I “go to” them?

(as I was taught)



And now Love and Home begin another new day constrained only by who we each are.

No matter where we are.